Medical Intern Gifts

'Correct. And in the case of a cardiac arrest, every second counts. Who can tell me why? Anyone? Clock's ticking.'

'Virtual patient.'

'Is he dead, or is it intern fatigue?'

'Your penmanship is much too legible. Try writing with your other hand.'

'What's holding him up?'

"Please excuse him...interns always worry patients don't think they're real doctors!"

"I assure you I do appreciate what you're feeling."

Stand-Up Intern

'Twelve years if college, medical school, internship and residency and it never occured to me that I'd have to work the night shift.'

"According to the interns' fantasy medical league, you should be out of here in three days."

"Boy, am I glad they finally hired more staff!"

"She's in a conversationally induced coma."

Keyworker

"Been following me around all morning. I think it's the new intern."

Laptop Dancing.

"The little engine that could... after taking advantage of family connections, a trust fund, working two years for free as an intern, and finally getting hired as an independent contractor."

"Damnit, executive-trainees don't have 'accidents'."

"I don't have my law degree yet but I've got an internship down in cell block 'D'."

Prospective hospital employee: 'I do sutures. Are there any openings?'

Happy Birthday to you.

"I hope you don't mind - I'm training a brand-new assistant and I've asked her to check your blood pressure."

"I know — but he was nervous and his support dog didn’t seem to mind."

"We've combine the recovery area with the gift shop... just in case your visitors want to pick up a little souvenir."

"I think you should be aware that the chef is a summer intern."

"My daughter tells me you want to become a doctor."

A Hypochondriac's Worst Nightmare

"But if you were a real boy you wouldn't be allowed to work such long hours."

'I blame the nothing for something culture.'

"I never imagined I'd be up on my feet this soon."

'The good news is your life sentence is about over.'

'Giles is a surgeon who likes to bring his work home with him.'

Modern Warfare: Surgical Strike

Cuba applauds its doctors

"We can't actually pay you, but your work will get a lot of exposure."

"I'd like to spend a year abroad before getting tied to quill and parchment."