Completion Of Medical Internship Gifts

'What's holding him up?'

'OK, the old one's in my right hand, the donor's in my left. Rght?'

"Unfortunately, your son swallowed a great deal of industrial adhesive. But don't worry: Epoxy can be cured."

"Been following me around all morning. I think it's the new intern."

Fighting the Pandemic

'AHH, here it is! At the next intersection, turn left, then cough, following that, turn right, then cough...' WHEN DOCTORS NAVIGATE.

'Well, what do I have?...Within reason, of course.'

'Hello, I'm Dr. Frank Stein and this is my anaesthetist, Dr. Ivan Gore. We'll be doing your hernia operation tomorrow.'

'It may be more inconvenient, but the 'Reverse Prostate Exam' is a lot less embarrassing for the both of us.'

'It's a new technique for training interns: suture by numbers,'

'That was creepy. They ran short on cadavers, so we operated on the dean of students.'

"Gross."

En garde!

'The doctor will acknowlege your existance now.'

"It's interpret-your-own-test-results day today."

Guide to Contagious Diseases.

'Our interns work extremely long hours. The harness will help keep them awake during your operation.'

"You're sick of this? Just try to imagine how we feel."

'Quick, do a background search and see if this doctor passed his boards!'

"Turn your head and cough."

'Wilkins! Keep your eyes on your own cadaver!'

'Madam, this is not pornography. It is a textbook on obsterics and gynecology...'

Podiatry. The greated podiatrist of all time, you say? Yep. I studied at his feet.

'Whatever it is, you've got it bad and that ain't good.'

"Are you sure you're not holding your breath?"

"I told you, Doctor! There's nothing in here!"

'He's done well considering he was just a part-time summer intern.'

'No, no, no. Shout 'clear' BEFORE zapping him.'

'Gastroenterology...do I know that?'

Medical Center.

"Okay, I've got lousy bedside manner, but I draw a smiley faces on all your prescriptions."

'Just another couple of pages.'

'Gastroenterology...do I know that?'

'As the intern, it'll be your job to work for free.'

Man sees sign on hospital: 'Heart Surgeons Wanted' 'Immediate Openings'