End Of Internship Gifts

'He's done well considering he was just a part-time summer intern.'

"Congratulations on two tours of internship duty. You're honorably discharged. Good luck."

Where your mind & battle are los

Computer Room.

'Yes, I know there's a deadline on this project.'

"My answers could be right. Your quiz just asked the wrong questions."

Academic Idol - 'Professor Johannsen's paper was zippy. It had robust vocabulary and I almost felt that I could dance to it. I would give it a 7.'

"I had all the right answers, but I had them in the wrong order."

'Remember, Edward, inside every 'F' student is a 'D' student trying to get out.'

'It's all original research. I had no assistance when I looked it up on Wikipedia.'

"I agree, the place was a tear-down, but I just remembered we were only renting it."

'I ace 'wheeling' but I flunked 'dealing'' - Boy on leaving Business Administration.

Do your research!

"Can you change this quiz grade from an A to a C? I like to keep expectations low until I blow my parents' mind by acing the final exam."

School. Report Card. You couldn't name the presidents and flunked history? Yeah -- It's not what you know, it's who you know.

University Soapflakes

"Well, look at the bright side, Timmy — you're 100 percent wrong."

"By the way, the failing grades you'll be seeing-they won't be virtual."

"Been following me around all morning. I think it's the new intern."

Four Types of Test-Takers...

Procrastinator Foumdation: 'We're putting off the decision to fund you for at least another month...'

"The little engine that could... after taking advantage of family connections, a trust fund, working two years for free as an intern, and finally getting hired as an independent contractor."

Type A Freshman - changed courses four times, got a job, organized a protest, quit the job, plans to take second semester abroad.

'I'm sorry son, parents don't like the 11 plus...'

Now showing, at a University near you...

'I'm majoring in communication and minoring in pizza delivery - What about you?'

'This test doesn't understand me.'

"I figured out how to raise my grades."

Aerodynamics Lecture room.

"Academic freedom doesn't mean you're free not to study."

"Do you think that will count as our 'Fifteen minutes of fame'?"

"I was planning to grow old with Matthew Nelson, but it looks like I'll be growing old with my algebra teacher."

Examinations.

'It's a new technique for training interns: suture by numbers,'

'What's holding him up?'