Internship Survivors Gifts

You don't have to be paid to work here but it helps!

'I clawed my way to the top and then I clawed my way back to the middle.'

"Been following me around all morning. I think it's the new intern."

Evil Exams!

Piano and Pianist with broken legs.

Gary turns 40.

"That's the last time I write my own resume!"

"If animals can be cloned, why can't homework be cloned?"

'I got a good place in my exams today. Right next to the radiator.'

"This is one of those great jobs you'd be willing to do for free. Will you do it for free?"

"If nothing else, school has prepared me for a lifetime of backpacking."

'First semester, you learn the numbers. Second semester, you use them to count the days 'til school is out.'

"Homework! Homework! Homework! I'll be doing this for hours! Talk about a misspent youth."

'As the intern, it'll be your job to work for free.'

"Will this job involve multiple choice, true and false, or essay questions?"

"I see you do all your own stunts."

"He told me I was a flip phone expected to do a smart phone job."

Sporting maladies.

'Think of it as a buyout package, Bob...without the 'buy' and just the 'out'!'

'You've got a broken finger.'

"Help, I'm being micro managed."

"Where do you see yourself after 5 beers?"

"A High-Pain Job? Yes, I believe we have that."

Academia Can Kill By Degrees

"Can you characterize yourself in five words."

Tax grab.

'Bloody plaster of Paris.'

'Where do you see yourself five years from now?'

"Go to sleep, Harold... you've prepared enough for the third years!"

I have an opening for someone like you. It's called a door.

'Really?! You didn't get fired today, either?! That's 60 days in a row! I'm so proud of you!'

'Thank you for calling the IRS... Press one for laughter in the background, press two for crying in the background.'