Medical Experiences Gifts

"During the operation I had a true out-of-body experience and I have to tell you, there is a lot of dust on top of those lights."

"FYI that the novocaine will numb the pain caused by the drill but won’t help with the pain caused by the overhead adult contemporary music."

"I like movies that resemble my life, so I don't feel like I'm wasting time watching a movie."

"I'm new here. How much do we leave for a tip?"

'Thanks, but I don't expect you to chew my food for me.'

"It will be okay to hop when you go home but don't try to run."

I think he's joking. "Placebo" can't be a real medical science term. It sounds like a funny name for a clown.

'You're either getting smaller or they're giving you bigger pillows.'

"Social distancing has really changed things at the office. In some ways it's really improved relationships with colleagues. For instance..."

"Well, I've taught you everything I know."

"Do you know the biggest thing I've learned in my thirty nine years?"

"Congratulations, counselor - it's a baby boy, with a full set of teeth."

'My parents couldn't afford to send me to college, so they let me spend a night at a Ramada.'

Women

'The doctors ruled out a remarkable recovery. You'll get better, they just don't think it'll be all that remarkable.'

"And as if that wasn't bad enough. They've discovered that I'm allergic to bandages!"

The Insiders

"With the quarantine over, I decided to dig a hold in the basement!"

Post Covid Summer

Working from home

Working from home.

'I told you we should have packed a lunch.'

"Code blue! Code blue! His heart's grown three times it's size!"

'Yes, I suppose I can learn to live with the pain in my foot. After all, I've been living with a pain in the neck for years!'

'What do you mean, I get a reprieve from my wife's cooking? My wife is a cook here at the hospital.'

"When you get to Uni be sure to let that hair down responsibly."

'Well, you're not a hypochondriac, you only THINK you're a hypochondriac!'

'Wait a minute! Didn't I see you on 'Funniest Medical Bloopers and Blunders'?'

'I don't think much of your work experience scheme Eric!'

Stay Home And Feed Me!!!

Quarantine Day 60: "Mom says her boobs have enjoyed their temporary liberation from bra-jail."

"The small neat scar was from the surgery. The long jagged scar is where I sneezed."

"This is my son Simon he's here on work experience."

"It's amazing how much Junior has changed after only a few weeks away at college..."

"When they said they wanted staff to work from home, I didn't think they meant our home."