Medical Anecdotes Gifts

'I couldn't get the cap off the prescription bottle. What did you die of?'

'Is there another doctor in the house? He wants a second opinion.'

"First, I sent a rocket of a drive down the fairway, then I took the 7-iron, put that ball on the green...a hundred and eighty yards if it was an inch..."

"It will be okay to hop when you go home but don't try to run."

'Silly me. I thought his 'Catch and Release' bumper sticker referred to his philosophy on trout fishing.'

"FYI that the novocaine will numb the pain caused by the drill but won’t help with the pain caused by the overhead adult contemporary music."

"Whoa! Now I remember. This was one of the possible side effects on the label."

Hospital porter leaving brain behind

'The doctors ruled out a remarkable recovery. You'll get better, they just don't think it'll be all that remarkable.'

Are you sure you're not holding your breath?

Medical Curiosities

'Can you believe I was open for six months, and not one single client?!?'

'Yes, I suppose I can learn to live with the pain in my foot. After all, I've been living with a pain in the neck for years!'

'It appears you've arrived here because of some medical gobbledygook, so, to put it simply, you can now go home.'

'You're fine. Now get out of my office!'

You're going to give me a hay fever shot? Shouldn't I be getting an anti hay fever shot?

'When I was your age we had to carry our water from the spring in a bucket...and then we'd get it out with a dipper!'

'I'd like now to introduce Len who will tell slightly humourous stories in his inimicable self-serving way,'

'You have a parasite, I'm afraid.'

'Death doesn't frighten me, but the night nurse does...'

'This is his third operation in two years. I'm putting in a zipper.'

"I believe I told you quite clearly not to let his stitches get wet."

"Relax, un-controllable trembling is natural before major surgery."

Sooner or Later

"Uh, oh...I was supposed to rub this on your back..."

Have I told you about my operation?

"During the operation I had a true out-of-body experience and I have to tell you, there is a lot of dust on top of those lights."

'We couldn't save him, but we found out what made him tick.'

"What do I do? He refuses to sleep on his own."

'He wants to know where the action is.'

'Next we tried continuous intravenous drip fluid therapy...'

"You don't look like the sort of person to get diabetes..."