Medical Anecdotes T-Shirts

'I couldn't get the cap off the prescription bottle. What did you die of?'

'Is there another doctor in the house? He wants a second opinion.'

"First, I sent a rocket of a drive down the fairway, then I took the 7-iron, put that ball on the green...a hundred and eighty yards if it was an inch..."

"It will be okay to hop when you go home but don't try to run."

'Silly me. I thought his 'Catch and Release' bumper sticker referred to his philosophy on trout fishing.'

Ask Sadie! I just read an article where Daisy Ridley said J.J. Abrams wrote drafts for Episode VIII and Episode IX. And then Rian Johnson THREW THAT OUT and went a whole different direction. This makes me lose all faith in Star Wars. Am I overreacting? **Actual reader question. Excellent question. This reminds me of the time I saw Gone with the Wind on opening day. I was the invited guest of an elderly veteran of the Civil War. He couldn't stop yammering about how seceding from the union didn't

Hospital porter leaving brain behind

"Whoa! Now I remember. This was one of the possible side effects on the label."

"FYI that the novocaine will numb the pain caused by the drill but won’t help with the pain caused by the overhead adult contemporary music."

'The doctors ruled out a remarkable recovery. You'll get better, they just don't think it'll be all that remarkable.'

Are you sure you're not holding your breath?

Medical Curiosities

"Code blue! Code blue! His heart's grown three times it's size!"

'Can you believe I was open for six months, and not one single client?!?'

'Yes, I suppose I can learn to live with the pain in my foot. After all, I've been living with a pain in the neck for years!'

You're going to give me a hay fever shot? Shouldn't I be getting an anti hay fever shot?

'You're fine. Now get out of my office!'

'It appears you've arrived here because of some medical gobbledygook, so, to put it simply, you can now go home.'

'I'd like now to introduce Len who will tell slightly humourous stories in his inimicable self-serving way,'

'You have a parasite, I'm afraid.'

'When I was your age we had to carry our water from the spring in a bucket...and then we'd get it out with a dipper!'

"The small neat scar was from the surgery. The long jagged scar is where I sneezed."

'Death doesn't frighten me, but the night nurse does...'

'This is his third operation in two years. I'm putting in a zipper.'

"I believe I told you quite clearly not to let his stitches get wet."

"Relax, un-controllable trembling is natural before major surgery."

Sooner or Later

"Uh, oh...I was supposed to rub this on your back..."

'He wants to know where the action is.'

"What do I do? He refuses to sleep on his own."

'Next we tried continuous intravenous drip fluid therapy...'

Have I told you about my operation?

'We couldn't save him, but we found out what made him tick.'

"During the operation I had a true out-of-body experience and I have to tell you, there is a lot of dust on top of those lights."

The results of your brain scan are in