Medical Emergency Gifts

"I'm afraid the shark got your arms and legs. It's probably not a good time, but your brother's here. He needs a kidney."

"He's going to be O.K., but he still wants you to remarry."

Pay Hospital Bill Here.

Ambulance outside house at night

'Our neighbor Bill is in the hospital so the community is hosting a fundraiser so everyone can contribute a little extra to pay his medical expenses.'

"Is there anyone else we can notify besides you dog?"

"Now, how can I be of assistance?"

"If you don't want stitches, that's fine. Suture self."

"She's in a conversationally induced coma."

First aid in mountains

'I'm on my way!'

Who should I call first? 911 or Technical Support?

"I'm sure he'll pull through. He's always been a real fighter."

Frontline health workers

Ship upsidedown in a bottle has rescue boat in bottle next to it.

Don't worry, the first 30 years as a paramedic are the hardest.

Boston Marathon: The First Responders.

Decontamination

'If it don't hurt, don't mess with it!'

Things Mothers don't want to hear from their five year olds...

'Under blood type, sir, could you be a little more specific than blue?'

'Let me through, let me through, I'm a computer geek.'

"Let me through - I'm a bonsai tree surgeon."

'I've decided I'm going to be a fireman when I grow up.'

'Is it urgent?'

'It was an exciting party, especially when the firemen came to put out the fire!'

'Should I call the auto club of the coast guard?'

'Sorry, shortage of staff.'

Policeman giving paramedics a fine.

Helicopter

"The blaze has taken hold on the eight floor Chief. The C.E.O., V.P. and C.O.O. are trapped in the boardroom!!"

Bomb disposal officer sits at desk near workboxes: IN/ ERT.

'How long did you try before calling?'

"Sorry, it will have to be fire, police or ambulance. Superman is busy right now."

Wards / Mortuary