Medical Emergencies Gifts

"Um...does anyone have any experience in CPR or aeroplane driving."

Stretcher is held upside down so the patient won't get wet.

'Can you hear me, doctor?'

'I'm a Heimlich Maneuver specialist at an all you can eat restaurant.'

Paramedic running after dropped stretcher.

'Quick! Contact my doctor!'

"Quick, phone Doctor's Orders, three times!"

"Now, how can I be of assistance?"

"If you don't want stitches, that's fine. Suture self."

"She's in a conversationally induced coma."

First aid in mountains

'I'm on my way!'

"He's going to be O.K., but he still wants you to remarry."

Who should I call first? 911 or Technical Support?

"I'm sure he'll pull through. He's always been a real fighter."

Frontline health workers

Ship upsidedown in a bottle has rescue boat in bottle next to it.

Don't worry, the first 30 years as a paramedic are the hardest.

"911, what is your major malfunction?"

'If it don't hurt, don't mess with it!'

Decontamination

'Let me through, let me through, I'm a computer geek.'

"Let me through - I'm a bonsai tree surgeon."

'I'd say you're a little late...'

Things Mothers don't want to hear from their five year olds...

'I've decided I'm going to be a fireman when I grow up.'

Boston Marathon: The First Responders.

'Is it urgent?'

'I'll give it back to you in a second hon, I just want to get this broccoli out of my teeth.'

'It was an exciting party, especially when the firemen came to put out the fire!'

'Sorry, shortage of staff.'

'Should I call the auto club of the coast guard?'

Policeman giving paramedics a fine.

'We have an emergency, ladies and gentlemen! We need help - can anybody in the audience play the tambourine.'

'For my family, Christmas and New Year's Eve is the busiest time... my husband is a spirits dealer and my son is an emergency doctor!'