Medical Challenges Gifts

"And as if that wasn't bad enough. They've discovered that I'm allergic to bandages!"

The landscape for doctors was getting more trecherous.

Eldrow

"You think you're a monster because you have poor self image."

Ski Slope Rated Black Due To Wall At The Bottom

Courage. Love.

Tic-tac-toe

"According to my calculations...school starts in exactly 20 days!"

"Sometimes it helps to turn a question around. Why not you?"

Prawn Amend

'Haven't seen you in church lately John?'

"I did seize the day. But then it seized me right back and used some kind of jujitsu move to flip me on my ass."

"Is it me or are the obstacle courses getting harder?"

Wards / Mortuary

"Look at me - I can do this!"

Happy Days are here again

Discomfort zone.

"But why not be happy about all the diseases you don't have?"

When the going gets tough the tough gets going...and the rest hide in the washroom and cry.

"Other than being sent to the principal's office, my detention, and three day suspension, school was good."

"If it makes any difference, it's a remarkable piece of plagiarism."

PEP TALKS!

"...and I'd like to thank my mother, who is a lesbian, for guiding me through a real tough gender-identity crisis."

Death in the red zone

'And this one is for going into an MRI machine -- alone.'

'It's great for reducing White Coat Hypertension.'

"Well, put it this way - A semi-colon is better than a full stop."

Life gives you lemons

"I just can't sleep with this wrestler's leg syndrome."

Covid Duel

"Armstrong, you're the cheapest cheapskate on earth." "Not yet, but a man can dream." "This toothache is killing me but I have no money and no insurance. Do you know where I can find a really cheap dentist?" "Of course. I can give you my guy's name. He works for peanuts." "I’ll get a pen." "You’ll also need a passport and lots of penicillin."

"Triple espresso." "Forget it, Uncle Mort. Your doctors said no caffeine." "I am not your Uncle Mort. I am someone else altogether." "Oh yeah? Who are you?" "I am... Drinkum... Coffeeman... Worthington-Smythe... of the Florida Coffeeman-Worthington-Smythes." "You may have heard of us... We're a family of... um... troubadours. I, myself, wrote several ballads for the likes of Sinatra, Pat Boone, and Jimi Hendrix." "So if I were to Google that right now, Google would confirm that?" "Google

Joe's Bar: Your money back if you think you're man enough!

Getting Old Sucks: "Incontinence hotline. Can you hold please?"

"What say we make this one of those 'some days you get the bear' days?"