Medical Challenges Pillows

"And as if that wasn't bad enough. They've discovered that I'm allergic to bandages!"

The landscape for doctors was getting more trecherous.

"You think you're a monster because you have poor self image."

Courage. Love.

Ski Slope Rated Black Due To Wall At The Bottom

Tic-tac-toe

"Sometimes it helps to turn a question around. Why not you?"

"According to my calculations...school starts in exactly 20 days!"

Prawn Amend

'Haven't seen you in church lately John?'

"I did seize the day. But then it seized me right back and used some kind of jujitsu move to flip me on my ass."

Wards / Mortuary

"Is it me or are the obstacle courses getting harder?"

Happy Days are here again

"Look at me - I can do this!"

Discomfort zone.

"But why not be happy about all the diseases you don't have?"

"Other than being sent to the principal's office, my detention, and three day suspension, school was good."

"...and I'd like to thank my mother, who is a lesbian, for guiding me through a real tough gender-identity crisis."

Death in the red zone

PEP TALKS!

"If it makes any difference, it's a remarkable piece of plagiarism."

'And this one is for going into an MRI machine -- alone.'

'It's great for reducing White Coat Hypertension.'

"Well, put it this way - A semi-colon is better than a full stop."

Life gives you lemons

"I just can't sleep with this wrestler's leg syndrome."

"What say we make this one of those 'some days you get the bear' days?"

"Can't I go anywhere without someone asking for free medical advice?"

Joe's Bar: Your money back if you think you're man enough!

"Triple espresso." "Forget it, Uncle Mort. Your doctors said no caffeine." "I am not your Uncle Mort. I am someone else altogether." "Oh yeah? Who are you?" "I am... Drinkum... Coffeeman... Worthington-Smythe... of the Florida Coffeeman-Worthington-Smythes." "You may have heard of us... We're a family of... um... troubadours. I, myself, wrote several ballads for the likes of Sinatra, Pat Boone, and Jimi Hendrix." "So if I were to Google that right now, Google would confirm that?" "Google

Covid Duel

Covid Winter

"Armstrong, you're the cheapest cheapskate on earth." "Not yet, but a man can dream." "This toothache is killing me but I have no money and no insurance. Do you know where I can find a really cheap dentist?" "Of course. I can give you my guy's name. He works for peanuts." "I’ll get a pen." "You’ll also need a passport and lots of penicillin."

Getting Old Sucks: "Incontinence hotline. Can you hold please?"