Medical Issues Gifts

'It's great for reducing White Coat Hypertension.'

"We're to use our imaginary budget to pretend to recruit more nonexistent nurses."

'I had your court case moved up to tomorrow. I want you to look your best.'

'Is there anything worse than waking and going to the bathroom?'

"I just can't sleep with this wrestler's leg syndrome."

"Unfortunately, your plan covers only doctors who couldn't possibly help you in any way."

Wards / Mortuary

"It's not an early warning sign for this year's winter crisis, it's a very VERY early warning sign of NEXT year's."

"Your latest test results indicate that you should accelerate your payments to us."

Geriatrics struggle with a personnel shortage.

"Agh! I've got a bad back!"

Osteoporosis Club: You Must Be This Short.

"Oh happy days are here again."

"Eat not of the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge. Its sources have yet to be verified."

'ooh! A womb with a view.'

No Immediate Danger

'Oh, well... Accidents will happen.'

'Time for your pills.'

"I'm sorry, Chuckles. We had to remove your funny bone."

"It will be okay to hop when you go home but don't try to run."

'You don't need a colonoscopy, but I'm sending you for one because, quite frankly, I don't like you.'

Infected Macron

I think he's joking. "Placebo" can't be a real medical science term. It sounds like a funny name for a clown.

"The x-rays came back, and — I'm sorry, but we found a very large attachment."

"I'm referring you to an old gypsy woman."

'I'm having my colon checked.'

'You're going to have to give up painting ceilings, Michelangelo !'

A football game appears on the operating theatres monitor instead of the patients heartbeat.

"He detects disease."

'Can't talk now, I'm just going into a tunnel.'

"Uh, try unplugging him, then plugging him back in."

Celebration in operating theatre.

'Remember your blood pressure, dear!...the Dr, warned about anything that would anger you, like this divided congress and their inability to compromise on things beneficial to the nation.'

"This patient must be really rich! He brought back the most extravagant illnesses from exotic holiday spots."

Healthy Eating Casualties