Medical Oddities Gifts

'I wouldn't be surprised if he blows his brains out.'

"What are you looking at, four eyes?"

'Veins...arteries...I told you I can never tell one from another.'

Hypochodriac worrying about his heart.

'Your test results are in - and here's a first, the Lab Techs have asked to meet you.'

Wards / Mortuary

"But the P.R. guy says he's going to be O.K."

Medical Curiosities

'It's great for reducing White Coat Hypertension.'

"In case we have to go back in."

"I just can't sleep with this wrestler's leg syndrome."

You're going to give me a hay fever shot? Shouldn't I be getting an anti hay fever shot?

'I hear you practice modern medicine.'

Geriatrics struggle with a personnel shortage.

'I couldn't get the cap off the prescription bottle. What did you die of?'

'I had your court case moved up to tomorrow. I want you to look your best.'

"Relax, un-controllable trembling is natural before major surgery."

"Oh happy days are here again."

"He took an Alka-Seltzer and now he thinks he’s sparkling."

Doctor using a skeleton's arm to scratch his back.

"Amazing your knowledge of the virus, if anything, I should pay you."

My doctor says my heart is fragile. I'm supposed to cut down on my activism. You mean activity? Activism. He says that getting upset about idiotic, right-wing, greedy jerks is bad for my heart. He's a quack! This ends badly.

"Unfortunately, your plan covers only doctors who couldn't possibly help you in any way."

Osteoporosis Club: You Must Be This Short.

'Next we tried continuous intravenous drip fluid therapy...'

'I'm a cardiologist with a child in third grade art class. What can I say?'

"What do I do? He refuses to sleep on his own."

"It's not an early warning sign for this year's winter crisis, it's a very VERY early warning sign of NEXT year's."

'A very unusual case, Mrs. Vandermeer, you have rhinestones!'

Organ Exchange Bank

'Hot! Hot!'

Doctor Nyman - The nodule king

Mrs. Cohen, I'm sorry to tell you you have a tumor. It's in your throat. Let me show you a diagram on the computer. Click. Sorry, I've somehow mixed in my vacation photos. Where was I? @#$% HMO!

X-ray of man with trash can in stomach.

"We're to use our imaginary budget to pretend to recruit more nonexistent nurses."