Medical Oddities Pillows

"What are you looking at, four eyes?"

'Veins...arteries...I told you I can never tell one from another.'

Hypochodriac worrying about his heart.

'Your test results are in - and here's a first, the Lab Techs have asked to meet you.'

Wards / Mortuary

"But the P.R. guy says he's going to be O.K."

Medical Curiosities

'It's great for reducing White Coat Hypertension.'

"I just can't sleep with this wrestler's leg syndrome."

You're going to give me a hay fever shot? Shouldn't I be getting an anti hay fever shot?

'I hear you practice modern medicine.'

Geriatrics struggle with a personnel shortage.

'I couldn't get the cap off the prescription bottle. What did you die of?'

'I had your court case moved up to tomorrow. I want you to look your best.'

"Relax, un-controllable trembling is natural before major surgery."

Doctor using a skeleton's arm to scratch his back.

"Oh happy days are here again."

"He took an Alka-Seltzer and now he thinks he’s sparkling."

"Amazing your knowledge of the virus, if anything, I should pay you."

"What do I do? He refuses to sleep on his own."

"Unfortunately, your plan covers only doctors who couldn't possibly help you in any way."

'Next we tried continuous intravenous drip fluid therapy...'

'I'm a cardiologist with a child in third grade art class. What can I say?'

"It's not an early warning sign for this year's winter crisis, it's a very VERY early warning sign of NEXT year's."

Osteoporosis Club: You Must Be This Short.

'A very unusual case, Mrs. Vandermeer, you have rhinestones!'

Organ Exchange Bank

'Hot! Hot!'

Doctor Nyman - The nodule king

X-ray of man with trash can in stomach.

"We're to use our imaginary budget to pretend to recruit more nonexistent nurses."

No, I haven't taken an aspirin yet... I'm still reading the bottle!