Medical Oddities Lover Pillows

Doctor Nyman - The nodule king

"What are you looking at, four eyes?"

"Because we dismissed his original self-diagnosis, he wants to give us his second opinion."

'Okay, Mom. I'm sorry I re-gifted one of the kidneys you gave me.'

'Good thing it has a child-proof cap.'

A Hypochondriac's Worst Nightmare

"You'll feel a pinch and then a burn."

I said, your bones ache because you’re old. I’m referring you to an archaeologist.

'Quick, do a background search and see if this doctor passed his boards!'

Brian surgeon squeezing brains from a tube.

'Restless Peg Syndrome.'

'The doctor will be with you shortly, he's finishing medical school.'

'Well, none of the other options worked, so we installed a power cord on him -- if he starts going haywire again just unplug him and wait 30 seconds.'

There's Nothing Worse Than A Staff Infection

'I thought my appointment was for a TB screening.'

Wait a minute…What operating system are you using?… Common techie question.

"Looks like your Yang is on the move again."

'I've been googling your condition and I'm afraid to say...I think I might have it myself.'

"Who has removed the appendix from the medical text book?"

Give it to me straight, Doc, and don't poopcoat it.

"Geoffrey's a bit worried about lyme disease."

Paging for a Doctor

'Can't you give the dummy mouth to mouth without getting romantically involved Mrs Wilks?'

'And I think you'll find something extra in your dessert, Hon.'

Moo-Magrams Exams

Until Bob entered her life, Lisa never even knew the meaning of the phrase 'acute multiple drug-resistant infection by transgenic Staphylococcus aureus.

Radiology, Cardiology and Fertility Clinic.

"Dr. Eliot, would you let the dog out?"

'It's caused by doing too many wrist curls, overindulging in spinach and... Excuse me. Everyone in here - stat - if you want to see an actual case of 'Popeye Syndrome'!'

"Things look good but let's run a few more tests since mortality runs in your family."

"Of course I believe in unions - Where do you think we doctors would be without the A.M.A.?"

How To Make A Pigs Ear Out Of Swine Flu.

"So, when will we be getting the next batch?"

"You won’t need refills."

"I came here to be treated - not flattered!"