Health Challenges Gifts

Chemotherapy.

"Mr Miller has bowel trouble."

"You have third-degree burns over most of your body. At least your chin looks OK ??" aside from that big hairy mole."

My Mom the Fussy French Eater (It's Killing Her)

Getting Old Sucks: "Incontinence hotline. Can you hold please?"

"You lot aren't fooling anyone, y'know." King Charles cancer treatment

"Triple espresso." "Forget it, Uncle Mort. Your doctors said no caffeine." "I am not your Uncle Mort. I am someone else altogether." "Oh yeah? Who are you?" "I am... Drinkum... Coffeeman... Worthington-Smythe... of the Florida Coffeeman-Worthington-Smythes." "You may have heard of us... We're a family of... um... troubadours. I, myself, wrote several ballads for the likes of Sinatra, Pat Boone, and Jimi Hendrix." "So if I were to Google that right now, Google would confirm that?" "Google

'Haven't seen you in church lately John?'

'Together, you have enough insurance to cover only one person. You'll have to draw straws.'

Neil Diamond retires from touring after being diagnosed with Parkinson's.

"Approaching 10,000 steps."

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

2021

"Good For You / Bad For You"

'If you give up alcohol, cigarettes, sex, red meat, cakes and chocolate, and don't get too excited, you can enjoy life for a few more years yet.'

"I don't think you're getting enough stress."

'Personally I take all these programmes with a pinch of salt.'

Self help acupuncture

Dietician to man: 'To address your spare tire we must first get in touch with your inner tube.'

'My body has rejected every diet I've tried.'

'You've hit the fitness plateau.'

"Do you guys serve beer?"

'Something for the weekend, Sir?'

'Let me through, I'm at Doctor.com.'

What the Doctor Ordered

Lady drying hair whilst on exercise bike.

Lactose Intolerant

'Well, well, well...'

"Your contents have shifted."

Mister Mid-Life Crisis

"It's not the social stigma. It's the mercury."

'No, honestly, it's just diet and exercise.'

'Not that sort of body building program!'

'The dietician told him to increase his roughage!'

"This prognosis is positive, you've got a cold nose."