Family Health Challenges Gifts

Cold quarantine.

"Sometimes it helps to turn a question around. Why not you?"

'Haven't seen you in church lately John?'

"We'd love to come, but we can't seem to find a sitter."

"Say hi to your mother for me and tell her I'm happy her bypass turned out O.K

"We need to have a serious talk."

'Remember your blood pressure, dear!...the Dr, warned about anything that would anger you, like this divided congress and their inability to compromise on things beneficial to the nation.'

Death in the red zone

"What's your question for 'Ask Sadie'?" "My mom's in a nursing home. I think someone's stealing her jewelry." "What's the matter, you're afraid someone is stealing your inheritance?" "Simple solution: Send your mother to Japan, where their entire culture reveres the elderly." "Sayonara, grandma!!!" "Are you sure that's not just a stereotype?" "Who cares?!"

"Well, put it this way - A semi-colon is better than a full stop."

"Triple espresso." "Forget it, Uncle Mort. Your doctors said no caffeine." "I am not your Uncle Mort. I am someone else altogether." "Oh yeah? Who are you?" "I am... Drinkum... Coffeeman... Worthington-Smythe... of the Florida Coffeeman-Worthington-Smythes." "You may have heard of us... We're a family of... um... troubadours. I, myself, wrote several ballads for the likes of Sinatra, Pat Boone, and Jimi Hendrix." "So if I were to Google that right now, Google would confirm that?" "Google

Getting Old Sucks: "Incontinence hotline. Can you hold please?"

"Armstrong, you're the cheapest cheapskate on earth." "Not yet, but a man can dream." "This toothache is killing me but I have no money and no insurance. Do you know where I can find a really cheap dentist?" "Of course. I can give you my guy's name. He works for peanuts." "I’ll get a pen." "You’ll also need a passport and lots of penicillin."

'Cool snack, Tommy! My folks are into health foods too!'

"You have third-degree burns over most of your body. At least your chin looks OK ??" aside from that big hairy mole."

'Of course it tastes bad! If it tasted good, you'd think it was ineffective.'

"Little Jimmy's at the difficult age where he's grown up."

'I represent a broad-based coalition of anti-pipe interests....'

"You lot aren't fooling anyone, y'know." King Charles cancer treatment

Will work for dental plan.

"... and that this ham we're eating has enough sodium to give us high blood pressure. That's what I learned in school today."

The Very Last Dinosaur

"You might want to sit down, Mrs. Dumpty."

Injured heart.

"Mr Miller has bowel trouble."

'I can't make it tonight. I have to attend my mother's lecture series on responsibility.'

"You moving back in hasn't been a picnic for us, either. I can't wait until you have adult children of your own."

"Not tonight, dear. I have a head injury."

New for Christmas-'L'il Product Tester'

The relationship between convicts and their families

"That's the fifth customer this morning - video calling the doctor's surgery because of Covid restrictions."

Concerned patient looking at his chart.

The Swine Flu Piggy