Family Health Issues Gifts

Dear Santa, Tia Carmen is in the hospital. We don't know what's going to happen. You can keep all my presents this year. Just let us have Tia Carmen home for Christmas. Gracie.

"The way he stacks those blocks, I see repression, some hostility, and a lot of dissatisfaction with his place in society."

"Can Johnny come out and eat?"

"We'd love to come, but we can't seem to find a sitter."

'It's either a boo-boo or an owwie, but the doctors need to run some more tests before they decide.'

"Say hi to your mother for me and tell her I'm happy her bypass turned out O.K

"We need to have a serious talk."

"... and finally, to my children I leave the four mosquitos and the horsefly in the top left corner."

'I don't know which health issue should concern me more - the voices in my head or the fact that I need a hearing aid to hear them.'

'Remember your blood pressure, dear!...the Dr, warned about anything that would anger you, like this divided congress and their inability to compromise on things beneficial to the nation.'

A pediatrician with children hanging off his arms

"What's your question for 'Ask Sadie'?" "My mom's in a nursing home. I think someone's stealing her jewelry." "What's the matter, you're afraid someone is stealing your inheritance?" "Simple solution: Send your mother to Japan, where their entire culture reveres the elderly." "Sayonara, grandma!!!" "Are you sure that's not just a stereotype?" "Who cares?!"

"I'll take your word for it. You don't have to show me your used floss."

'You should give her a bigger breakfast - She's just eaten my thermometer!'

The tuck stops here - childhood obesity.

'Tell the doctor that I'm too sick to see him.'

"Don't worry son. We're going to get you the best money that medicine can buy."

"Armstrong, you're the cheapest cheapskate on earth." "Not yet, but a man can dream." "This toothache is killing me but I have no money and no insurance. Do you know where I can find a really cheap dentist?" "Of course. I can give you my guy's name. He works for peanuts." "I’ll get a pen." "You’ll also need a passport and lots of penicillin."

"It's a game changer. . . carrots and hummous batons but we've managed to make them out of sugar."

"I just had a terrifying glimpse into our snack."

'Cool snack, Tommy! My folks are into health foods too!'

'I don't feel that bad.'

Hickory, Dickory Doc...Pediatricians

'Bill, I'm sorry to hear about your going into the hospital. Is it a MALE problem?'

'Of course it tastes bad! If it tasted good, you'd think it was ineffective.'

Paediatric medicine

"... and that this ham we're eating has enough sodium to give us high blood pressure. That's what I learned in school today."

"You might want to sit down, Mrs. Dumpty."

"Broccoli isn't hab-bad if you hab a code."

"Careful with that corn. It's a gateway food to other vegetables."

'I'll see the ones with clean underwear first.'

"Happy birthday. They were out of bourbon so I got you those underpants you can pee in."

'He'll eat green vegetables... but only with chocolate syrup on them.'

'I represent a broad-based coalition of anti-pipe interests....'