Family Issues Gifts

'I can't make it tonight. I have to attend my mother's lecture series on responsibility.'

"No, honey, divorce is not the same as deleting an app."

The Very Last Dinosaur

"We need to have a serious talk."

Enhanced Pedophilia Interrogation Techniques

The Anti-Agent

"It seems my fear of death has been replaced by my fear of politics."

Opportunities in Coronatimes

"I built this tree house for my kids. But it's so private, I've decided to use it as my home office."

Support the Ex-Troops

"Is he talking yet? I was hoping he could help me with my new phone."

"Hold it right there, ma'am! If you get too close to the artwork, I'll have to ask you to leave the gallery."

"Don't worry, dear. You'll grow."

"I spilled a red dot of paint, so I painted the whole room so you wouldn't notice it."

Mum and baby both have pacifier.

'Are you finished eating yet, sweetie?...Guess that answers THAT question!'

"I know what this is, it's what mum and dad call 'working from home'...

"Frankly, now that he's an obnoxious teenager, I find it more and more difficult to muster the urge to protect him..."

"Someone once told me that kids grow up so quickly. I hope there's some truth to that."

America, are we learning anything?

Weekday Morning Hell Bingo

Nelson Mandela in despair over the crime rates in SA.

"No, there was no 'Buy One, Get One Free.' You're twins."

"There's smart phones and smart cars, so why can't there be smart rooms that clean themselves?"

T"ruly, Susan, I envy no man."

Hungry child

'Mom, Dad! Look what I created in lab today!'

Man dreams of romance whilst a woman dreams of romance and babies.

"Gee, thanks pal."

"Someday she'll solve the world's problems."

Do you mind if we stop calling this a "starter house" now?

National Everything Awareness Day

"Well, I'm thinking about boarding school. Though I'm not sure they accept adults."

'Like death by salad.'

True confessions.