Family Affairs Gifts

'Excluding our little granddaughter who called me 'orrible old smellypops!'

"Nation-building never works."

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

"I built this tree house for my kids. But it's so private, I've decided to use it as my home office."

"Have you been on the moon again, young man?"

"Is he talking yet? I was hoping he could help me with my new phone."

Who will determine Venezuela's future?

"Don't worry, dear. You'll grow."

"Hold it right there, ma'am! If you get too close to the artwork, I'll have to ask you to leave the gallery."

"I spilled a red dot of paint, so I painted the whole room so you wouldn't notice it."

Mum and baby both have pacifier.

"I know what this is, it's what mum and dad call 'working from home'...

'Are you finished eating yet, sweetie?...Guess that answers THAT question!'

"Frankly, now that he's an obnoxious teenager, I find it more and more difficult to muster the urge to protect him..."

"Someone once told me that kids grow up so quickly. I hope there's some truth to that."

Cry babies.

"I think the most rewarding part of caring for elderly parents is when they call you because they don't want to bother the 9-1-1 people."

'Well, it's your fault for wearing my slippers.'

"There was no other choice, Mom. It was a double dog dare."

'Well, now that I know he's the owner's son, yes, he's the best damned wine steward I've ever seen.'

'Ahhh...'

"Studies show that children of immigrants are more likely to to take advanced math and science courses and more likely to take advanced placement tests in preparation for college."

"Couldn't you have just laughed instead of spelling 'LOL' in your alphabet soup?"

Weekday Morning Hell Bingo

A baby duck in a tiny car seat on the mother duck's back.

"I'd like the garden salad with the blue cheese dressing, and my mother would like me married by age thirty."

The Baby Walker

"Look Mommy, hat!"

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

"No, there was no 'Buy One, Get One Free.' You're twins."

'She's a very protectice mother!' - Lifeguard at Christening/Baptism.

"There's smart phones and smart cars, so why can't there be smart rooms that clean themselves?"

My First Camera

"The water changes them back into babies. I think they call it the Fountain of Youth."

"I'm sorry, Ms. Cole is busy balancing family and career. Can I take a message and have her call you back?"