Family Affair Fan Gifts

'Well, now that I know he's the owner's son, yes, he's the best damned wine steward I've ever seen.'

"Baldo, why do you make fun of my playing?"

Wedding Day Itinerary.

"My wife thought the phrase 'stick it to the man' meant everyone, hence we're divorced. My new girlfriend and I met at a party. She's krazy, man. We bonded right away and now she's pregnant. It's a squeeze top. My brother's in rehab for sniffing. He never could get his nose out of my business."

'She posted her first blog today.'

'With these alternative fertility treatments you never quite know how things turn out,'

'Since we're being so honest, perhaps I should mention that I liked you better as an egg.'

'No, you can't just watch the end of Bargainhunt!'

George Washington's sister was always getting him into trouble.

Chekov play and scorecard,

"I'm afraid Dad did not leave us anything of value in his will, but his last wish is for us to continue the feud with the neighbour's cat...

'Honey, the babysitter's here.'

"Careful George. You don't want to hurt our baby boy."

"Grandma, I have to bring an antique to school. Can I borrow your flip phone?"

'Quit playing kick ball with your brother!'

"Friend or foe?"

"I see you attending a family reunion, where things get quite heated."

"Put on a tie. We've been invited to the castle."

Mom - You gave me the best years of your life.

When a teen finds out his parents are volunteering in the youth group.

'My dad cut it. My mother repaired it. Now, I'm looking for some professional maintainance.'

Freak Family.

"Dad! Woody's taking all the fun out of the Easter egg hunt!"

"I know that everything reminds you of 'Frozen', but you've just got to let it go."

"Hi, you are through to the bank of Mum and Dad."

'Ralph finally got the remote control to work - his way.'

"Somehow, Daniel, you're not as cute as you used to be, and you're beginning to lose our attention."

"I have my very own ATM password."

"Oh, now I remember you. You live in that big shoe on the corner."

Zombie & Son

"...That old fool thinks I'm a stick."

'Dad, can you just drop me off here?'

'Apparently I need to lower the dosage of salmon capsules that I'm giving Don and the kids.'

"Your father forgives the thirty attemps you've made on his life, Oedipus. How does that make you feel?"

'That's what you get for reaching in the cookie jar.'