Family Life Fan Gifts

'With these alternative fertility treatments you never quite know how things turn out,'

'Dad, can you just drop me off here?'

"Careful George. You don't want to hurt our baby boy."

"Happy Mothers Day."

'Are you sure your grandpa REALLY got your nose?'

"Hi, Jenny, my parents just raised my home school tuition!"

"Somehow, Daniel, you're not as cute as you used to be, and you're beginning to lose our attention."

"Cold feet!"

"Oh, now I remember you. You live in that big shoe on the corner."

"Did they run to a state where dishes and spoons could legally marry?"

George Washington's sister was always getting him into trouble.

"Oh good. Here comes Mrs. Wood with her grandson, the Achilles heel."

'Welcom home from college, son. Now go clean your room.'

Mom - You gave me the best years of your life.

'Quit playing kick ball with your brother!'

'Nosy neighbors need to mind their own business.'

'That's what you get for reaching in the cookie jar.'

"When you kiss me Daddy, your whiskers tickle me!"

"Dad! Woody's taking all the fun out of the Easter egg hunt!"

"I spilled a red dot of paint, so I painted the whole room so you wouldn't notice it."

'Well, now that I know he's the owner's son, yes, he's the best damned wine steward I've ever seen.'

'Hi, Doc! I don't think I'm going to need you after all....'

'Another expectant father looking forward to paternity leave.'

'That reminds me, the seat broke on mine. I must make time to get it repaired.'

At the market

Bill and Lester have a 'Hay Day'.

"Well, that one got away."

'Everything I say to you goes in one ear and out the other.'

"It's my home grown quail call. Quail don't come when I blow it, but cows sure do."

Picks your own strawberries....Strangle your own turkeys

'Ya gotta love the way this farmer gets into Halloween spirit.'

"It's bold! It's moving! It's inspired! But what is it?"

"I'm so good at this!"

Golfer mistakes a hen's egg for his golf ball.

"No monsters, but there's a tear in the carpeting and I see hardwood!"