Family Life Enthusiast Gifts

'Wally? Do you think I'm a good mother?...So who's going to take the blame for this?'

"Okay! I'll clean my room....but we both know I'll just mess it up again!"

Happy Mother's Day - Without you, we'd be sunk.

"Instead of cleaning, I think it would save a lot of time if I just gave up on this room, and started over again in the spare bedroom."

'In Grandma's time, men were hunters, while women were cleaners and shoppers. Now daddy and mommy are both hunters, but on wekends, mommy still cleans and shops, while daddy is a golfer.'

'Everything I say to you goes in one ear and out the other.'

'You won't recognize junior, he has really grown.'

"I wouldn't worry, at his age grunting to communicate is quite normal."

"Three junior meals and a vasectomy, please."

"I'm not going to shovel the walk. I'm cleaning my room."

"I spilled a red dot of paint, so I painted the whole room so you wouldn't notice it."

"It must have been a really bad word. My mom threatened to wash my mouth out with the power washer."

'Mom, I cleaned my room like you told me.'

"It's too hot to strive for autonomy."

'Mom, you're so popular! It was unanimous when I volunteered you to head the team fund raiser!'

"Be grateful your kid only lives in your basement."

"Come on, let's have kids. Next week you can pick a restaurant."

"Clean your room."

"But I'm not even tir..."

"But I am an engaged parent. Just the other day, I helped one of the kids with his or her homework."

"Mom! My laundry is ready!"

"I suppose your mother and I should have said something earlier, but it never seemed like the right time to talk about your adoption."

"My parents don't have cool jobs. They prefer to make money."

'Just a handful or you'll spoil your dinner.'

Best. Gran. Ever.

"Mothers Day is coming up. What shouldn't we do to make sure mom enjoys it?"

"You've been suspended from school for a week? Who's being punished here, you or me?"

"I'm up to my neck in trouble, aren't I?"

"Michael, I think I found your bubble gum."

"Mom always was a helicopter mom, and now she's got a drone!"

"We once had discipline before the kids moved out."

'You said nothing about going to your mother's!'

"You shoveled the entire driveway? You know your father wanted to use his new snowblower! Go to your room!"

'My bed time story sounds a lot like your blog.'

'Dad gave up teaching me how to drive...I drove him nuts.'