Family Life Fanatic Gifts

'I told him that you said people should share things with the less fortunate!'

"You better take Teddy's temperature too....he was awfully sick this morning!"

"No, honey, your father didn't mean we called a baby sitter, he meant a child sitter....I mean a person sitter!"

"Is he talking yet? I was hoping he could help me with my new phone."

"I spilled a red dot of paint, so I painted the whole room so you wouldn't notice it."

'Sure, a drawing on Facebook has coverage, but nothing wows the family like a spread on the fridge.'

'That reminds me, the seat broke on mine. I must make time to get it repaired.'

'She's just great with the children.'

No one has ever been accused of choosing bad relatives.

"I ask that today is a good day...a day that brings family together...to show how we need one another."

"It's so nice to finally put a face to the name."

'Everything I say to you goes in one ear and out the other.'

Family members!

"Listen. Nobody's cuter than anyone else! You're all equally cute!"

I love my family!

'She posted her first blog today.'

'With these alternative fertility treatments you never quite know how things turn out,'

"I couldn't find the phone charger, but I was able to locate all the mouses the kids lost over the years."

'Hi Dad. I want you to meet Mr. Hacketal, my attorney.'

"No monsters, but there's a tear in the carpeting and I see hardwood!"

It's a Boy

"It's bold! It's moving! It's inspired! But what is it?"

Mother's Love

"Use your inside scream."

"I'm so good at this!"

'I think babies grow in a mommy's tummy and adopted babies grow in a mommy's heart.'

'What about you...you've been living here thirty years too?'

"And remember, it's important to wake them up at hourly intervals."

"Do you have to do that even when it's not Valentine's Day?"

'If your boss is so dumb, daddy, why did he hire you?'

'I think dad is beginning to regret falling asleep on the beach!'

George Washington's sister was always getting him into trouble.

'They're a very successful family.'

"Yes, "breeding like rabbits" is often used in a pejorative sense. The truth is, we don't care as we love having kids..."

'Let's open presents Christmas Eve AND morning. That way Christmas lasts for TWO days.'