Family Life Humor Fan Gifts

Hen Teenager

'Thank goodness you were wrong mom, dad says a period is what comes at the end of a sentence.'

Suffering from Cooties?

"If you insist on doing all the voices, Dad. Don't you think father bear should have a deeper voice than Goldilocks?"

Dad Trophies

"That’s a toaster. It’s a tanning bed for bread."

My 5-year-old nephew cut his hair! His mom was so upset until she thought: 'Wait a minute! I just saved 12 bucks!'

'With these alternative fertility treatments you never quite know how things turn out,'

Rabies on board - a couple of rabid babies.

"Good work Tim, you snatch it all: none of this sharing with your brother nonsense..."

Girl in cow onesie.

'Why is it taking so long to eat your soup?'

"The couch hates me Jane!"

"You're crappin' in the closet again, Claude."

"After I fix your laptop, can I have a bedtime story?"

The Family Joules: Part 5

'It was romantic before we had kids. Build some stairs.'

"Good news. It wasn't a toxic chemical leak. It was an old pizza in your kid's room."

'Yeah, bit how does the stork get into the maternity room?'

"I'll bet you're very proud of your handsome, well-behaved little sporks here."

George Washington's sister was always getting him into trouble.

"We're going to pay for your obedience school but after that you're on your own."

"So kids, you got work from your teachers right?"

"We've intended to ask you about it for some time, Doctor, but never got around to it."

'I'm doing a school report on 'the aging process,' Dad -- can I interview you?'

"I told my mom either the sitter goes, or I go!"

"I'm back. My family didn't want to spend more time with me."

'I'm going to bed...whatever...'

"Yeah, he's very like his father isn't he?"

'He didn't learn that from me!'

"Okay, just one story. Once upon a time, there was a naughty little boy who wouldn't go to sleep."

'Jimmie, run and tell your dad the tractor is flooded.'

"I'm afraid Dad did not leave us anything of value in his will, but his last wish is for us to continue the feud with the neighbour's cat...

"But Mom, you said it was a pup tent!"

"I can't mow the lawn today. A bug just flew up my nose."