Family Humor Lover Gifts

"Hi, Dad. Investment banking wasn't that great after all."

A baby is breast feeding and father asks mother:'So at what age is he going to realize that I exist?'

'Dad, when do I stop being a wholly owned susidiary of you and Mom?'

'Give it your best shot, Dad. I've had a hard day.'

'How come grandma can have blue hair, but I can't?'

'Now I look like Mummy!'

'You kids stop fighting or I swear, I will turn this banana around!'

"When you said I'd 'Really clean up' when Grandma visits I didn't know you meant my room!"

Mythical Family of Four

'I'm busy. Can't you make it yourself?'

"If you insist on doing all the voices, Dad. Don't you think father bear should have a deeper voice than Goldilocks?"

"We're just pleased he can still get into the Christmas spirit."

"My God, it's your mother!"

'It's so embarrassing. My mother had my tadpole tail bronzed!'

"I'd no idea they were so powerful, can we get one for you mother?"

"Hello, dear. Come see what Junior learned in school today."

"Sure they love us, but once we turn 18 and are no longer a tax deduction, they'll tell us to move out!"

"My dad also has a wireless controller. It's called mom."

"Mom, all I did was fall off my bike and skin my knee."

'She's a good listener!. . . she seems so intent on what we say.'

'Just keep saying to yourself, 'I'm not a sexist, I'm not a sexist...''

'And where do you think YOU'RE going?!!!'

'What did Cain kill Abel over? The video game or the remote control?'

'... But I don't want to grow up to be 'big like Dad' , he's about six stone over weight! '

'Yeah, my Dad is so cool, so up to date with things: He's a dinosaur you see...'

"She took me for everything but I got the kids."

'Son, you're too old for pester power, why don't you go outside and get some peer pressure.'

"This is my grandson. He just got out of diapers and I've just started."

"Honey, have you seen my energy drink? It was right by the soda."

"I've decided to accept my legal counsel's advice and take the fifth."

"After I fix your laptop, can I have a bedtime story?"

"Dad, let me show you how to open the childproof cap."

"You're reading a book? Is something wrong with the TV?"

"No, I'm telling you, large families are great: you always have somebody to play with..."

"Amanda, did you throw you shoes away again?"