Family Humor Fanatic Gifts

'His father melted when he was very young.'

'Fine thanks, and how are things with you?'

"Couldn't you have just laughed instead of spelling 'LOL' in your alphabet soup?"

'What the... MOM! This isn't deer! It's a yucky tourist again!!'

Facts of life - The birds and the dogs.

"Honey, you're spoiling that child."

"I don't know, kids. I've been a stay-at-home dad for so long it just sort of... happened."

"Look what I found. Can we keep him?" "Wow! A real pirate!!" "Go ask your mother."

My Dad, trying to look young. The cap hides his bald spot and the sweatshirt hides his gut!

"I haven't started playing the violin. I hide my vegetables in here!"

'Stop cracking and hulling his seeds. He's accustomed to working for his food.'

'Thank goodness you were wrong mom, dad says a period is what comes at the end of a sentence.'

Suffering from Cooties?

'Well, he definitely has his father's... Er... Eyes.'

"If you insist on doing all the voices, Dad. Don't you think father bear should have a deeper voice than Goldilocks?"

'Fancy us all being afraid of wasps when there's a WHOLE nest of 'em in my drinks cabinet!'

My 5-year-old nephew cut his hair! His mom was so upset until she thought: 'Wait a minute! I just saved 12 bucks!'

"Great job of acting! You really appeared excited about Aunt May's 'famous' green bean casserole."

Dad Trophies

'It's no problem, Mom. Samantha just likes to check on my table manners.'

"I don't know why I worry...Baldo's just a normal boy. It's good to see him maturing...making friends...with nice girls...exploring new feelings...and desires.... You have to go home now."

Rabies on board - a couple of rabid babies.

'It was romantic before we had kids. Build some stairs.'

'Why is it taking so long to eat your soup?'

"You're crappin' in the closet again, Claude."

'You're one of my kids? Really? I'm so sorry, I have so many it's hard to remember them all...'

"Good work Tim, you snatch it all: none of this sharing with your brother nonsense..."

"Okay, you scared the babysitter...now get back in there and rinse off that toothpaste, and go to bed!"

"After I fix your laptop, can I have a bedtime story?"

'I have a limited vocabulary because I'm a child, what's your excuse?'

"Your mother and I want to make your 21st birthday a moving experience. We'll help you pack."

"You can't make me eat Brussel sprouts Mum: it's illegal to force-feed geese in this country!"

"Good news. It wasn't a toxic chemical leak. It was an old pizza in your kid's room."

'I'm about to have a tantrum. What are you doing?'

"So kids, you got work from your teachers right?"