Family Humor Fan Gifts

Job interview.

'What else can go wrong?', 'MOTHER!'

'You're in luck, Dad - Dave likes you.'

'...Just like Daddy!'

"We're requesting a change of venue to his grandma's house where he can do no wrong."

"For your convenience, we ate all the candy you probably wouldn't like."

'I take a cold shower every morning... right after my daughters have taken hot ones.'

"It's for you Mom. . . remember when you said that the last thing you needed around here was a dog?"

"Good news. It wasn't a toxic chemical leak. It was an old pizza in your kid's room."

Bride, Groom, and Mother in Law.

'Our computer responds to voice commands, but our kids don't.'

'My mom must have swallowed a sponge or something. I heard her say she's retaining water.'

"Oh no! Looks like my wife's sisters are here!"

'Until I was thirteen I thought my name was stop it!'

"Now in the second law of thermodynamics..."

'Get your toys out of the living room!'

'Mom, was Dad your number one draft choice?'

'That was mother - She rang to tell me not to miss a moment of this programme.'

'Look, either I don't know I'm born, or things aren't like the good old days. You can't have both.'

Thank you for visiting us again Son... Can I still call you Son? You are so handsome now...

'Mom puts lipstick on so Dad knows where to kiss.'

'I decided to give up my demand for a TV in my bedroom. How about an ATM instead?'

'Not everyone has a grandmother who'd help them throw a party, Andy!'

'Dad, what are you doing in sex education class?'

'Giving my mother a ticket to Florida is not 'just being nice' to her.'

'Gee, Dad, I didn't know you knew how to cook!'

'It's rude to stretch across the table. Haven't you got a tongue?'

'Why is it taking so long to eat your soup?'

"Can I help you with anything, Dad?"

"I bet you thought 'A Scolding From Mother' was a band, didn't you?"

"Good work Tim, you snatch it all: none of this sharing with your brother nonsense..."

"No, William. This is your new little brother, Christopher. Not William 2.0."

"The next time you 'Go for three' try and hit the clothes hamper."

"Admit it - You only had me for the free tech support."

"Christmas should be a time to show how much we care for one another."