Family Comedy Enthusiast Gifts

Overly Interactive TV

See, Nana? That's the url. What's "url" stand for? Uniform resource locator. It's like an address. Everything important has one, so you can find it fast! Everything except

'May I have a glass of Perrier with a twist of lemon and a straw?'

"I need a Smartphone, Dad?"

'So, I think he's fine.'

"Why are you playing hide-and-seek in the stove!?! Don't shush me! This is my stove!"

"Couldn't you have just laughed instead of spelling 'LOL' in your alphabet soup?"

"Of course he's not our son. You wanted me to change the baby, didn't you?"

"We're having my mother-in-law for Christmas this year."

'Well, it's your fault for wearing my slippers.'

"Studies show that children of immigrants are more likely to to take advanced math and science courses and more likely to take advanced placement tests in preparation for college."

"No, there was no 'Buy One, Get One Free.' You're twins."

'They don't understand goo-goo-gah-gah. Dumb it down to WHAAAAAH!'

'He has your nose and my ears.'

"Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down, broke his crown and Jill said 'I told you so'."

My Dad, trying to look young. The cap hides his bald spot and the sweatshirt hides his gut!

'You're going to have your future cut out for you, reading bedtime stories.'

No one has ever been accused of choosing bad relatives.

'Why can't we trade him to that lady for her two little girls?'

Bless me father, for I have sinned...my brother did it.'

Emotion of Mr. Kenwigs on hearing the family news from Nicholas

'Thank goodness you were wrong mom, dad says a period is what comes at the end of a sentence.'

"Whose turn is it to lick the knife?"

Suffering from Cooties?

'Congratulations, dear! Your home cooked dinner was so good you'd think it was an expensive frozen entree!'

Graph Your Relatives!

"If you insist on doing all the voices, Dad. Don't you think father bear should have a deeper voice than Goldilocks?"

"You're 5 years old now, Timmy. It's about time you retain an attorney."

Growth Charts

'Look, Dad, I made a pair of boots out of your chest waders.'

"He is throwing another of his 'hissy fits' again!"

'We haven't had a family get-together like this since we were kids - Hey! Where are mum and dad?'

My 5-year-old nephew cut his hair! His mom was so upset until she thought: 'Wait a minute! I just saved 12 bucks!'

"Dad's barbeucuing again so Mom's got the pizza place on speed dial."

"Okay, you can keep 'em, but if they grow any bigger, they'll have to sleep in the kitchen."