Medical Cases Gifts

"I seem to recall reading about a similar case, many years ago."

'Is there another doctor in the house? He wants a second opinion.'

'ooh! A womb with a view.'

Barristers

'Can I sue someone because I didn't win my lawsuit?'

'Time for your pills.'

'Oh, well... Accidents will happen.'

"I'm sorry, Chuckles. We had to remove your funny bone."

'Veins...arteries...I told you I can never tell one from another.'

"It will be okay to hop when you go home but don't try to run."

'Your mom is probably watching. Go for the jugular.'

Justice 4 Ron

Jurors saying 'I'm on the jury' on their mobiles.

'If you can't afford a media adviser the court will appoint you one.'

"The x-rays came back, and — I'm sorry, but we found a very large attachment."

Infected Macron

'I'm having my colon checked.'

'You're going to have to give up painting ceilings, Michelangelo !'

Counsel examining witness

A football game appears on the operating theatres monitor instead of the patients heartbeat.

Healthy Eating Casualties

"This patient must be really rich! He brought back the most extravagant illnesses from exotic holiday spots."

'Can't talk now, I'm just going into a tunnel.'

"He detects disease."

Wards / Mortuary

"FYI that the novocaine will numb the pain caused by the drill but won’t help with the pain caused by the overhead adult contemporary music."

"Uh, try unplugging him, then plugging him back in."

Celebration in operating theatre.

'Thanks for leaving that sponge in me, Doc. Now I can drink twice as much wine.'

When he got the wrong medication, no one would own up to it. They were real good at covering their own butts.

Cause of death: Just one of those things.

'You say the pains in my left leg are caused by old age. But doctor my right leg is just as old and it doesn't hurt at all!'

Barrister pointing out dozing judge to the jury

"...and the good news is Mr Watkins, your keyhole surgery was a complete success"