Medical Cases Gifts

"I seem to recall reading about a similar case, many years ago."

'Is there another doctor in the house? He wants a second opinion.'

'ooh! A womb with a view.'

Barristers

'Can I sue someone because I didn't win my lawsuit?'

'Time for your pills.'

'Oh, well... Accidents will happen.'

"I'm sorry, Chuckles. We had to remove your funny bone."

'Veins...arteries...I told you I can never tell one from another.'

'Your mom is probably watching. Go for the jugular.'

"It will be okay to hop when you go home but don't try to run."

Justice 4 Ron

Say what? Johnnie Cochran died in 2005?

Jurors saying 'I'm on the jury' on their mobiles.

Infected Macron

"The x-rays came back, and — I'm sorry, but we found a very large attachment."

'If you can't afford a media adviser the court will appoint you one.'

'I'm having my colon checked.'

'You're going to have to give up painting ceilings, Michelangelo !'

Counsel examining witness

A football game appears on the operating theatres monitor instead of the patients heartbeat.

Celebration in operating theatre.

"I'm sorry, Doctor, when you said benign growth, I thought you were referring to my husband."

"FYI that the novocaine will numb the pain caused by the drill but won’t help with the pain caused by the overhead adult contemporary music."

'Thanks for leaving that sponge in me, Doc. Now I can drink twice as much wine.'

"He detects disease."

"Uh, try unplugging him, then plugging him back in."

"This patient must be really rich! He brought back the most extravagant illnesses from exotic holiday spots."

'Can't talk now, I'm just going into a tunnel.'

Wards / Mortuary

Healthy Eating Casualties

When he got the wrong medication, no one would own up to it. They were real good at covering their own butts.

Cause of death: Just one of those things.

'You say the pains in my left leg are caused by old age. But doctor my right leg is just as old and it doesn't hurt at all!'

"...and the good news is Mr Watkins, your keyhole surgery was a complete success"