Medical Analogies Gifts

'And their financial E.K.G. shows that they are in excellent health.'

Heart surgeon tastooing patients heart with "Love".

'ooh! A womb with a view.'

'Oh, well... Accidents will happen.'

"I'm sorry, Chuckles. We had to remove your funny bone."

'Time for your pills.'

While you're at it, will you sew on my shirt button please?

'You don't need a colonoscopy, but I'm sending you for one because, quite frankly, I don't like you.'

"The x-rays came back, and — I'm sorry, but we found a very large attachment."

"I'm referring you to an old gypsy woman."

Infected Macron

'I'm having my colon checked.'

'You're going to have to give up painting ceilings, Michelangelo !'

'Like I said - It's non invasive surgery.'

A football game appears on the operating theatres monitor instead of the patients heartbeat.

The sad case of the blind-men and the elephant.

'Can't talk now, I'm just going into a tunnel.'

'Unlike Wall Street, with its strict rules regulating insider trading, 'Love Street' remains un-regulated, and I'm pleases to let you know now, before the official announcement, that the position of Rolf Fusco's girlfriend is open.'

Covid Wrestling

"This patient must be really rich! He brought back the most extravagant illnesses from exotic holiday spots."

Healthy Eating Casualties

"Uh, try unplugging him, then plugging him back in."

'I know it's not around too much this season but I think I have swine flu!'

"... And who asked for your opinion, I'd like to know?!"

'So how did you manage to get your saline replaced with lager?'

"He detects disease."

Celebration in operating theatre.

'Thanks for leaving that sponge in me, Doc. Now I can drink twice as much wine.'

When he got the wrong medication, no one would own up to it. They were real good at covering their own butts.

"Take one three times a day and come back in 43 years."

Cause of death: Just one of those things.

'You say the pains in my left leg are caused by old age. But doctor my right leg is just as old and it doesn't hurt at all!'

"...and the good news is Mr Watkins, your keyhole surgery was a complete success"

'Give Mr. Fogarty his testosterone injection, Nurse, and then run like the dickens!'

'You need a heart transplant, maybe two.'