Medical Themes Gifts

'You don't need a colonoscopy, but I'm sending you for one because, quite frankly, I don't like you.'

"Come along now, you've got nothing I haven't seen before."

"Okay, next I'm going to text your reflexes."

'If things don't go well, tell me you'll pull the plug. I want to know you'll be provided for.'

"Trust me, Doc, it's quicker if I tell you what doesn't hurt."

'I told you not to do that. Now put it back.'

IV Coffee Drip

"I'd like a second opinion please doctor"

"What a coincidence, he was my doctor too."

'Judging from the chart, I'd say someone has a crush on their nurse...'

"But doctor...when I said I wanted to increase my breasts what I meant was..."

"In medical terms the acronym for your condition is 'BWS' which stands for beached whale syndrome."

"... And who asked for your opinion, I'd like to know?!"

Jack Frost, MD, plastic surgeon...specializing in rhinoplasty.

"I understand you were involved in a golf mishap this morning!"

Please wait to be seeded.

'I'm not sure, but I think he was the missing link.'

"The test results are conclusive. He doesn't have a romantic bone in his body."

Man in full body cast with inquiry form.

'How come I got a baboon liver and pig kidney, and he got a baboon kidney and pig liver?'

R Jones MD, Gastroenterology. Literature Available On: 'Stop the flatulence tax.'

'Tell me DOC, is it serious?!'

Fighting for life.

"I was robbed!"

"What do you mean, 'what's with the hour glass'... You just asked me how long you had left, didn't you?"

Punishment.

Catch 72

Spock visits the Orthopedics

I'm a little shy about getting completely nude in front of a woman doctor, but I suppose it will be okay. Since you're only here for an earache, that won't be necessary, Mr. Fusco.

We put a screw in your hip, and since you were under, we figured we'd just tighten the loose one in your head.

"The staff of this hospital would like to assure you, Mrs. Smith, that the brain of Mr. Smith ending up in Frankenstein's monster was entirely unintentional."

"Smoke two joints and call me in the afternoon."

'I know it's not around too much this season but I think I have swine flu!'

'Very interesting formation, doctor.'

"I wish you'd come to me sooner, Mr Smith"