Illness Themes Gifts

Someone putting parasite ornaments on a tree.

With a high temperature and sore throat Terry felt like he was at deaths door.

'I really enjoyed my stay in the hospital - I never get served breakfast in bed at home.'

"I hear he's taking an experimental drug called, 'It Ain't Over Till It's Over.'"

'You don't need a colonoscopy, but I'm sending you for one because, quite frankly, I don't like you.'

"Unfortunately there's no HMO for what you have"

'I thought it might help you get your mind off things. It's a story of hope and survival. Nothing at all like your story.'

'Excuse me, sir. Could you spare $2000,000 to treat an uninsurable pre-existing condition?'

"His wife and family will decide on the course of treatment, but, as his ex, feel free to open up a few old wounds."

"I'm referring you to an old gypsy woman."

"... And who asked for your opinion, I'd like to know?!"

'Good news and bad... Medical science can't cure you, but we have some marvelous support groups.'

'I know it's not around too much this season but I think I have swine flu!'

Flo discovered that one of the perks of cancer was that even reluctant friends were willing to give her foot massages,

Covid Wrestling

Flo figured that since she was using medical marijuana during chemo, she might as well go hippy retro.

Flo discovered that one perk of cancer is that people treat her like a queen.

"But doctor...when I said I wanted to increase my breasts what I meant was..."

'I'm the doctor - I'll decide what's chronic!'

'By 'fight the good fight' I don't mean you fight against it.'

"First day out of bed?"

The Sunrise of Vaccines

'OK, how about something a little more upbeat?'

'If things don't go well, tell me you'll pull the plug. I want to know you'll be provided for.'

'Judging from the chart, I'd say someone has a crush on their nurse...'

'I can only describe it as one of those symptoms that goes away whenever I see a doctor.'

'I've done everything that medical science can do...now I suggest you sacrifice a goat to Nagoomba.'

"I understand you were involved in a golf mishap this morning!"

Spock visits the Orthopedics

Nil By Ear

"The bad news is he only has two minutes to live, the good news is it's in football time.""

"The staff of this hospital would like to assure you, Mrs. Smith, that the brain of Mr. Smith ending up in Frankenstein's monster was entirely unintentional."

"The doctors call it Polymyositis, but I call it 'Military Arthritis' because it comes with a lot of fatigue."

Stay apart & stay happy

"Could be worse..." "Could be worse..." "Could be worse..." "Could be... oh, never mind."