Illness Themes Gifts

Someone putting parasite ornaments on a tree.

With a high temperature and sore throat Terry felt like he was at deaths door.

'I really enjoyed my stay in the hospital - I never get served breakfast in bed at home.'

"I hear he's taking an experimental drug called, 'It Ain't Over Till It's Over.'"

'You don't need a colonoscopy, but I'm sending you for one because, quite frankly, I don't like you.'

"Unfortunately there's no HMO for what you have"

'I thought it might help you get your mind off things. It's a story of hope and survival. Nothing at all like your story.'

'Excuse me, sir. Could you spare $2000,000 to treat an uninsurable pre-existing condition?'

"I'm referring you to an old gypsy woman."

"His wife and family will decide on the course of treatment, but, as his ex, feel free to open up a few old wounds."

Flo discovered that one of the perks of cancer was that even reluctant friends were willing to give her foot massages,

'Good news and bad... Medical science can't cure you, but we have some marvelous support groups.'

Covid Wrestling

'I know it's not around too much this season but I think I have swine flu!'

"... And who asked for your opinion, I'd like to know?!"

Flo figured that since she was using medical marijuana during chemo, she might as well go hippy retro.

Flo discovered that one perk of cancer is that people treat her like a queen.

"But doctor...when I said I wanted to increase my breasts what I meant was..."

'OK, how about something a little more upbeat?'

'By 'fight the good fight' I don't mean you fight against it.'

The Sunrise of Vaccines

"First day out of bed?"

'I'm the doctor - I'll decide what's chronic!'

'I can only describe it as one of those symptoms that goes away whenever I see a doctor.'

'Judging from the chart, I'd say someone has a crush on their nurse...'

Nil By Ear

'I've done everything that medical science can do...now I suggest you sacrifice a goat to Nagoomba.'

"The staff of this hospital would like to assure you, Mrs. Smith, that the brain of Mr. Smith ending up in Frankenstein's monster was entirely unintentional."

"The doctors call it Polymyositis, but I call it 'Military Arthritis' because it comes with a lot of fatigue."

Stay apart & stay happy

"I understand you were involved in a golf mishap this morning!"

"Could be worse..." "Could be worse..." "Could be worse..." "Could be... oh, never mind."

"The surgery went well. It had spread, but I'm quite confident we got it all."

"I'm not sure the extent of it really comes across in a Zoom consultation, doctor."