Dealing With Illness Gifts

"It's arthritis. Probably caused from clinging to life."

"But first let me give you the good news."

"But think of all the things you're not going to die of."

"The good news is you probably have enough time to write a will."

'Let's see if he makes it through the night. Could you hold off updating his Facebook page until then?'

"I'm not sure the extent of it really comes across in a Zoom consultation, doctor."

"Hopefully my body language tells you all you need to know."

Cold Call

Alzheimer's Amusement Park

'If you're bored do some writing.You could start by writing your will.'

'Frankly, your only hope is for Jerry Lewis to hold a special telethon.'

'Now this quack wants me to see a specialist- what the hell is a PATHOLOGIST'

"Yes, there is a chance you'll be alive in six months... If there really is such a thing as reincarnation."

"Good news. Your financial problems are going to seem insignificant."

Covid Talks

"Ok. . . how about a fortnight in August?"

"I can't say exactly how much time you have, but if you were to join the 'Book of the month club' now, you'd wind up way ahead."

"The bad news is he only has two minutes to live, the good news is it's in football time.""

"Do you think there's life after death, doc?"

"Six months to live ... are those the long months or the short months?"

"Forget railway season tickets. Stick to day returns from now on."

"I don't feel so good, Tia Carmen."

"He was a prolific writer who made a lot of mistakes and eventually lost his mind. It all sounds so pointless."

"How's my flu? Not good...I feel like a million bucks."

Alzheimer's Patients Struggle with Societal Contempt

"Do you have one that says: 'I know someone who died from what you have'?"

"Let me put it this way. Don't bother updating your website."

"You must be Harold's son. Harold speaks very highly of you."

"Doctor said it's so rare that they can't be bothered to find a cure."

"Could be worse..." "Could be worse..." "Could be worse..." "Could be... oh, never mind."

Flo discovered that one of the perks of cancer was that even reluctant friends were willing to give her foot massages,

'It's from your boss...he says 'get well or get lost'!'

"Okay, now breathe another sigh of relief."

'I really enjoyed my stay in the hospital - I never get served breakfast in bed at home.'

DO Not Disturb (Except For Meals)