Dealing With Chronic Illness Gifts

'If it has the word 'ectomy' after it, I've already had it.'

'I really enjoyed my stay in the hospital - I never get served breakfast in bed at home.'

'Your blood Sugar is very high.'

"I hear he's taking an experimental drug called, 'It Ain't Over Till It's Over.'"

"Unfortunately there's no HMO for what you have"

'Excuse me, sir. Could you spare $2000,000 to treat an uninsurable pre-existing condition?'

'I thought it might help you get your mind off things. It's a story of hope and survival. Nothing at all like your story.'

"Ack! This stuff's hard to eat!"

'I don't know which health issue should concern me more - the voices in my head or the fact that I need a hearing aid to hear them.'

Flo discovered that one of the perks of cancer was that even reluctant friends were willing to give her foot massages,

Flo figured that since she was using medical marijuana during chemo, she might as well go hippy retro.

Flo discovered that one perk of cancer is that people treat her like a queen.

"You'll have to take this medication for the rest of your life, but don't worry it's non-addictive."

'Please don't interupt-we've only got 45 minutes.'

"Instead of days, my pill organizer is divided into months."

'I'm the doctor - I'll decide what's chronic!'

'By 'fight the good fight' I don't mean you fight against it.'

The Sunrise of Vaccines

"First day out of bed?"

"The doctors call it Polymyositis, but I call it 'Military Arthritis' because it comes with a lot of fatigue."

Stay apart & stay happy

"Could be worse..." "Could be worse..." "Could be worse..." "Could be... oh, never mind."

"The bad news is he only has two minutes to live, the good news is it's in football time.""

"The surgery went well. It had spread, but I'm quite confident we got it all."

"I'm not sure the extent of it really comes across in a Zoom consultation, doctor."

'Now this quack wants me to see a specialist- what the hell is a PATHOLOGIST'

Alzheimer's Amusement Park

"Have you been feeling all right, Ed?"

'Very well, instead of the bible I'll read you Harry Potter but I am still standing behind the lectern.'

Covid Race

"Forget railway season tickets. Stick to day returns from now on."

Life and Death.

"He was a prolific writer who made a lot of mistakes and eventually lost his mind. It all sounds so pointless."

National Asthma Society Parade

'I'm going to prescribe a new diabetic medication. It's a bit costly. I'll start you off with fifty dollars a week.'