Managing Chronic Illness Gifts

'Mr Fillchock, it's time for your 8pm pills. Please choose the pills that match these shapes, sizes and colours...'

'I'm going to prescribe a new diabetic medication. It's a bit costly. I'll start you off with fifty dollars a week.'

'I really enjoyed my stay in the hospital - I never get served breakfast in bed at home.'

Disease Management

'Your blood Sugar is very high.'

"I hear he's taking an experimental drug called, 'It Ain't Over Till It's Over.'"

"Unfortunately there's no HMO for what you have"

'I thought it might help you get your mind off things. It's a story of hope and survival. Nothing at all like your story.'

"Ack! This stuff's hard to eat!"

'I don't know which health issue should concern me more - the voices in my head or the fact that I need a hearing aid to hear them.'

Flo discovered that one of the perks of cancer was that even reluctant friends were willing to give her foot massages,

"You'll have to take this medication for the rest of your life, but don't worry it's non-addictive."

'Please don't interupt-we've only got 45 minutes.'

"Instead of days, my pill organizer is divided into months."

The Sunrise of Vaccines

"First day out of bed?"

'I'm the doctor - I'll decide what's chronic!'

Stay apart & stay happy

"The doctors call it Polymyositis, but I call it 'Military Arthritis' because it comes with a lot of fatigue."

"Could be worse..." "Could be worse..." "Could be worse..." "Could be... oh, never mind."

"The bad news is he only has two minutes to live, the good news is it's in football time.""

"The surgery went well. It had spread, but I'm quite confident we got it all."

"I'm not sure the extent of it really comes across in a Zoom consultation, doctor."

Alzheimer's Amusement Park

'Now this quack wants me to see a specialist- what the hell is a PATHOLOGIST'

"Have you been feeling all right, Ed?"

GPs should prescribe tailored exercise and weight loss to relieve osteoarthritis

Covid Race

"I was just surprised you put the word 'marriage' next to the question asking if you suffered from a chronic condition."

'Very well, instead of the bible I'll read you Harry Potter but I am still standing behind the lectern.'

"Forget railway season tickets. Stick to day returns from now on."

'If it has the word 'ectomy' after it, I've already had it.'

National Asthma Society Parade

"Don't you think it's time to admit to yourself that this rash will not clear up on it's own."

"He was a prolific writer who made a lot of mistakes and eventually lost his mind. It all sounds so pointless."