Medical Debate Gifts

Indignitas - 'How dare you help me take my life!'

"Only three out of 16 million people may die from the side effects of this vaccine. My Jack was one of them."

"What do you mean 'sitting is the new smoking'? I thought fat was the new smoking?"

"Is this your bright idea, Janet?"

'Have you heard about the new Medicare drug plan called plan C? Medicare gives you $30 for a bus ticket to Canada!'

'I'll see your Social Security Supplement and raise you Medicare and a Canadian pharmacy ID.'

'As soon as I mention Nietzsche - stop serving me, okay.'

"Are you sure that cutting them up will make him better?"

An Arm and a Leg.

"Poverty is a social disease and it's not covered by your health insurance"

"Sorry -- The doctor is out -- But we have like 10 influencers available."

'I inherited therefore I am'

'How can I help you? We offer - choice, diversity or competition.'

'Legislature' doctor scratching his head over a syringe marked 'Free market Principles' with those marked 'Regulations' in the bin

'The beauty of this is that it is only of theoretical importance, and there is no way it can be of any practical use whatsoever.'

"I've been living vicariously through a really boring person."

Doctor's profits match a patient's scar.

'I'm holding firm against any government health plan.'

'You're a nihilist, eh? — well, at least you have something to believe in.'

'I don't think therefore I'm not.'

"Hey, way to go! You invented both the disease AND the cure!"

"What about commands that violate your moral code?"

'In order for the new Health Care Bill to pass, we'll need to remove the option of Health and Care, and give taxpayers the bill.'

'I have to charge a lot for an office visit. How do you think I pay for MY health insurance?'

Now, will someone pass me a whale?

"It seems all doctors agree with you, but I'd still like to get a 15th opinion."

"What if we could see five dimensions?"

Warning: Birth control pills carry a history of heart attack or stroke....

"A terminal illness? That's seen as a weakness in my business."

"Why carry malpractice insurance if you don't malpractice once in a while?"

The devolution of the NHS

'You'll never convince me that phone masts aren't a health risk.'

"You first."