Health Debate Gifts

"What do you mean 'sitting is the new smoking'? I thought fat was the new smoking?"

"My barber says masks are useless."

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

This is not the time to be restructuring the NHS in the middle of a pandemic Mr. Hancock!

"Welcome to Mars. We assume you're all up to date on your vaccinations?"

An Arm and a Leg.

Profits for Big Pharma

Antibiotics versus probiotics: A battle of wills.

Doctor's profits match a patient's scar.

"I hope that you're not refusing free dental care for ideological reasons."

"I'm trying to determine if the aches and pains are from an injury or just my new normal."

Vaping cigarette

Advertisements for 'Brother Marsh- faith healer and Deacon 'Speed' Alton- emergency room'.

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

RFK Jr Anti-Vax

Studies show some foods work miracles/study says studies are a crock.

'The good news is we can still get abortions.'

Quack Medicine

Anti-Vaxxers aren't stupid. They just need to be convinced!

"I'd offer you a tissue, but I'm afraid your insurance won't cover it."

'You'll never convince me that phone masts aren't a health risk.'

"The budget wouldn't stretch to a gastric band."

'-OK, if you elect not to have the surgery, the insurance company offers six days and seven nights in Barbados.'

"I'm an anti-masker."

"Well, thanks for coming over with the soup and the subtle condemnations of my use of Western medicine."

The Politics of Masochism

"We're incompatible. . . He's anti-mask and I'm anti-vax!"

"Why is it when Jane Austen describes everyday events, it's literary genius, but as soon as I start talking about my gall bladder, your eyes glaze over?"

"Do you remember lifestyles of the rich and famous?"

'You have a 'can't do anything right disease'.'

"So smoking will kill you... bacon will kill you... but will smoking bacon will cure it?"

Health Care Games: 'Sorry folks. . . no winners.'

'Oh yeah, really healthy! You do realize that cereal is just another soy based product?'

"No, you can't have church, unless you would like to assemble in a liquor store, abortion clinic or marijuana dispensary."

'So NOW there's universal health care!'