Health Discussion Gifts

"So smoking will kill you... bacon will kill you... but will smoking bacon will cure it?"

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

"What do you mean 'sitting is the new smoking'? I thought fat was the new smoking?"

"Welcome to Mars. We assume you're all up to date on your vaccinations?"

Profits for Big Pharma

"Are you sure that cutting them up will make him better?"

Antibiotics versus probiotics: A battle of wills.

'And you say your face after you looked at the bill I sent you for your last visit.'

"I've been living vicariously through a really boring person."

"I'm trying to determine if the aches and pains are from an injury or just my new normal."

Vaping cigarette

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

Advertisements for 'Brother Marsh- faith healer and Deacon 'Speed' Alton- emergency room'.

RFK Jr Anti-Vax

"The new lockdown guidelines are that up to ten people can go to funerals and ten thousand to demonstrations."

Studies show some foods work miracles/study says studies are a crock.

'The good news is we can still get abortions.'

Anti-Vaxxers aren't stupid. They just need to be convinced!

Quack Medicine

'You'll never convince me that phone masts aren't a health risk.'

'The Doctor will see you now...'

'Doctor, I will tell you the whole history of my disease.'

"The budget wouldn't stretch to a gastric band."

"I'd offer you a tissue, but I'm afraid your insurance won't cover it."

'-OK, if you elect not to have the surgery, the insurance company offers six days and seven nights in Barbados.'

"I'm an anti-masker."

"Well, thanks for coming over with the soup and the subtle condemnations of my use of Western medicine."

If at first you don't succeed, call your malpractice insurance company.

"We're incompatible. . . He's anti-mask and I'm anti-vax!"

'Don't tell me you want universal health care!'

"Why is it when Jane Austen describes everyday events, it's literary genius, but as soon as I start talking about my gall bladder, your eyes glaze over?"

'You have a 'can't do anything right disease'.'

'They're using honey to draw us out! Fortunately, they underestimate our willpower.'

Miss-Information: "I'm not planning on being vaccinated. . . People should have the right to catch covid and die!"

Is Horse Medicine Right For You?