Medical Themed Gifts

'This will sting for just a minute.'

Ice Cream Surgeon

"I'm afraid we'll have to operate. Your appendix has an infection and it's extremely aggressive."

PSA Banter.

'I want to forewarn you that my HMO won't approve any treatment that uses a needle.'

Providing Healthcare For All

'ooh! A womb with a view.'

'My medical school believed laughter is the best medicine.

'Do you have to use that? -- tongue depressors make me hungry.'

'Let me guess...it's contagious!'

"My doctor said I'm not getting any younger. I'd like a second opinion."

"So, let's catch a wellness wave!"

'Oh, well... Accidents will happen.'

'My god! Have you seen the size of this chiropodist's bill?!!'

'Could you be more specific than you feel zucky?'

'No, I don't think it a cute idea! Get rid of him and turn in your supervisor's uniform!'

'Time for your pills.'

Doctor to patient: 'While I'm back here, let's try a little something I learned when I was a ventriloquist.'

'Did you remove my appendix? Yes, both of them.'

"I'm sorry, Chuckles. We had to remove your funny bone."

'Nurse, I said x-ray, not microwave.'

"It's interpret-your-own-test-results day today."

'You have an enlarged funny bone.'

"..Your analysis and medication would be perfect if you were a goat."

"You need the toilet. . . hang on I think I've got an app for that."

'No, I'm sorry, Danny. I'm afraid your dad won't be able to shoot laser beams from his eyes after surgery.'

'Cut down on sodium? I'm taking that with a pinch of salt.'

"I like when we get organ transplants from New York because they always throw in a dozen bagels."

You can relax now.

It was a pretty vicious attack. He's lost a lot of candy.

'You don't need a colonoscopy, but I'm sending you for one because, quite frankly, I don't like you.'

'You've got the worst case of whatever this is, I've ever seen.'