Medical Themed Gifts

'This will sting for just a minute.'

Ice Cream Surgeon

"I'm afraid we'll have to operate. Your appendix has an infection and it's extremely aggressive."

PSA Banter.

'I want to forewarn you that my HMO won't approve any treatment that uses a needle.'

Providing Healthcare For All

'ooh! A womb with a view.'

'My medical school believed laughter is the best medicine.

'Let me guess...it's contagious!'

'Do you have to use that? -- tongue depressors make me hungry.'

"My doctor said I'm not getting any younger. I'd like a second opinion."

"So, let's catch a wellness wave!"

I just hope my doctor is not on twitter too!

To encourage patients to take their medication, Dr. Gratner brought in a sketch artist to show them what they will look like in six months without meds.

'You have an enlarged funny bone.'

World Cup Fever

'Could you be more specific than you feel zucky?'

'Nurse, I said x-ray, not microwave.'

"It's interpret-your-own-test-results day today."

'Um, can I get a FOURTH opinion?'

'Oh, well... Accidents will happen.'

'My god! Have you seen the size of this chiropodist's bill?!!'

'Time for your pills.'

'No, I don't think it a cute idea! Get rid of him and turn in your supervisor's uniform!'

"I'm sorry, Chuckles. We had to remove your funny bone."

Doctor to patient: 'While I'm back here, let's try a little something I learned when I was a ventriloquist.'

'Did you remove my appendix? Yes, both of them.'

"..Your analysis and medication would be perfect if you were a goat."

"You need the toilet. . . hang on I think I've got an app for that."

'No, I'm sorry, Danny. I'm afraid your dad won't be able to shoot laser beams from his eyes after surgery.'

You can relax now.

'Cut down on sodium? I'm taking that with a pinch of salt.'

"I like when we get organ transplants from New York because they always throw in a dozen bagels."

It was a pretty vicious attack. He's lost a lot of candy.

'You don't need a colonoscopy, but I'm sending you for one because, quite frankly, I don't like you.'