Medical Meme Enthusiast Gifts

"We medical practitioners do our very best, Mr. Nyman. Nothing is more sacred to us than the doctor-plaintiff relationship."

"Take one three times a day and come back in 43 years."

'I'm stuck. Check it out on Google.'

"I think you may have your gown on back to front."

Providing Healthcare For All

"Repetitive strain injury?...theres a lot of it about."

'I'm afraid it's cancer...And not the good kind.'

Well, the MRI confirms it: You have a shy bladder.

Dr. Smith Fear, Nose and Throat. Oh my!! You should be scared to death, Frank!

"You think the rash and fever is bad? Wait til you see this bill!"

'You'll never live to regret it!'

'Why am I here, nurse? I just wanted a replacement for my organ.'

"We've simplified our prescription process."

"If you don't want stitches, that's fine. Suture self."

"I've done this procedure so often I could do it in my sleep. But that's only happened twice – that I'll admit to."

'You're going to have to make some changes in your lifestyle.'

"There's your son's heartbeat, and over here is the app he's developing."

"The doctor wanted me to let you know that everything is fine, but your c-section didn't go quite as planned. it was more like a 'K' section..."

'Before you see any patients have you completed your hand sterilisation and soap management course?'

"If you'd only come to me sooner I wouldn't have had to go to lunch."

'And when did you have your last owl movement?'

'I want to forewarn you that my HMO won't approve any treatment that uses a needle.'

"All my symptoms are old ... "

'I'm afraid that serves you right for not wearing your safety goggles!'

"Boy, do we hate to see this... I'm afraid your child's entire body is an 'innie'."

Doctor performing an ultrasound on a Russian nesting doll

'Let me guess...it's contagious!'

"I think it stopped breathing."

Prospective hospital employee: 'I do sutures. Are there any openings?'

'Who wants to be examined first?'

Happy Birthday to you.

'My boyfriend's a Cardiologist.'

'Your 'bad' cholesterol levels are right off the chart.'

'The doctor says he's going to have to give you a few more tests...'

I just hope my doctor is not on twitter too!