Medical Meme Enthusiast Gifts

"We medical practitioners do our very best, Mr. Nyman. Nothing is more sacred to us than the doctor-plaintiff relationship."

"Take one three times a day and come back in 43 years."

"I think you may have your gown on back to front."

Providing Healthcare For All

"Repetitive strain injury?...theres a lot of it about."

'I'm afraid it's cancer...And not the good kind.'

"You think the rash and fever is bad? Wait til you see this bill!"

'You'll never live to regret it!'

'Why am I here, nurse? I just wanted a replacement for my organ.'

"We've simplified our prescription process."

"If you don't want stitches, that's fine. Suture self."

"I've done this procedure so often I could do it in my sleep. But that's only happened twice – that I'll admit to."

"There's your son's heartbeat, and over here is the app he's developing."

'You're going to have to make some changes in your lifestyle.'

"The doctor wanted me to let you know that everything is fine, but your c-section didn't go quite as planned. it was more like a 'K' section..."

'And when did you have your last owl movement?'

'I want to forewarn you that my HMO won't approve any treatment that uses a needle.'

'Before you see any patients have you completed your hand sterilisation and soap management course?'

"If you'd only come to me sooner I wouldn't have had to go to lunch."

"Boy, do we hate to see this... I'm afraid your child's entire body is an 'innie'."

'I'm afraid that serves you right for not wearing your safety goggles!'

"All my symptoms are old ... "

Doctor performing an ultrasound on a Russian nesting doll

"I think it stopped breathing."

'Let me guess...it's contagious!'

Prospective hospital employee: 'I do sutures. Are there any openings?'

Happy Birthday to you.

'Who wants to be examined first?'

'My boyfriend's a Cardiologist.'

'Your 'bad' cholesterol levels are right off the chart.'

'We'll need to run some preliminary tests to see if you're healthy enough for more invasive follow-up tests.'

'The doctor will acknowlege your existance now.'

'Long shift?'

'Could you be more specific than you feel zucky?'

"It's interpret-your-own-test-results day today."