Medical Meme Lover Gifts

'Hey, Lori! Take a look at Mr. Geckler's EKG!'

'According to the films, it appears I've left an instrument inside you. Luckily, I can fix that in Photoshop.'

"You'll be discharged quickly after surgery and placed in our mobile recovery unit: a taxi home."

"..Your analysis and medication would be perfect if you were a goat."

"I have to tell you, I got a totally different diagnosis from someone named PookyPoo on medi-answer.com."

'Nurse, I'll have what ever he is having.'

"Good?"

'I think he'll be okay. He had a mild brush stroke.'

"You tested positive. But it looks like you're just a carrier."

Coma for twenty years

"Well, whatever it is - it's contagious."

Patient after an appendix operation

'It's something that's going around, there it goes again!'

A woman stops at a building directory sign for Centers for Diseases.

I just hope my doctor is not on twitter too!

"The bad news is that there isn't really any good news."

"Thanks for reminding me, doc! I just forgot that I've got Alzheimer's!"

"Do you still have my rectal thermometer?"

'Your test results are in, Mr. Znarfendorg, and you seem to have Znarfendorg's syndrome.'

"I have your results right here... Would you like the bad news first, or the worse news?"

World Cup Fever

"The operation was a success. Thank goodness for YouTube videos!"

"I'd prefer if you didn't try to self-diagnose."

If doctors worked like car mechanics. . .

'Your X-rays are back... I hate your guts!'

Casuality: Next Drunk.

'Let me guess...it's contagious!'

'You either need an antihistamine or a heart transplant -- I'll have to check your credit rating to be sure.'

Waiting room scene and signs that say 'Dr. Ooze's Clinic - As seen on TV.'

'I want you to hold the camera phone to your mouth, open wide and say A-A-A-H-H.'

I can't think of anything more embarrassing than wearing one of these stupid gowns.

"The doctors say you're not doing enough to diagnose yourself."

"It's interpret-your-own-test-results day today."

"If you don't want stitches, that's fine. Suture self."

"I've done this procedure so often I could do it in my sleep. But that's only happened twice – that I'll admit to."