Medical Meme Lover Pillows

"You'll be discharged quickly after surgery and placed in our mobile recovery unit: a taxi home."

"..Your analysis and medication would be perfect if you were a goat."

"I have to tell you, I got a totally different diagnosis from someone named PookyPoo on medi-answer.com."

'Nurse, I'll have what ever he is having.'

"Good?"

'I think he'll be okay. He had a mild brush stroke.'

"You tested positive. But it looks like you're just a carrier."

Coma for twenty years

"Well, whatever it is - it's contagious."

Patient after an appendix operation

'It's something that's going around, there it goes again!'

A woman stops at a building directory sign for Centers for Diseases.

"The bad news is that there isn't really any good news."

"Thanks for reminding me, doc! I just forgot that I've got Alzheimer's!"

'Your test results are in, Mr. Znarfendorg, and you seem to have Znarfendorg's syndrome.'

"I have your results right here... Would you like the bad news first, or the worse news?"

"I'd prefer if you didn't try to self-diagnose."

If doctors worked like car mechanics. . .

'Your X-rays are back... I hate your guts!'

Casuality: Next Drunk.

'Let me guess...it's contagious!'

'You either need an antihistamine or a heart transplant -- I'll have to check your credit rating to be sure.'

'I want you to hold the camera phone to your mouth, open wide and say A-A-A-H-H.'

"The doctors say you're not doing enough to diagnose yourself."

"It's interpret-your-own-test-results day today."

"If you don't want stitches, that's fine. Suture self."

"I've done this procedure so often I could do it in my sleep. But that's only happened twice – that I'll admit to."

'You're going to have to make some changes in your lifestyle.'

"There's your son's heartbeat, and over here is the app he's developing."

"The doctor wanted me to let you know that everything is fine, but your c-section didn't go quite as planned. it was more like a 'K' section..."

'And when did you have your last owl movement?'

"If you'd only come to me sooner I wouldn't have had to go to lunch."

'Before you see any patients have you completed your hand sterilisation and soap management course?'

'I want to forewarn you that my HMO won't approve any treatment that uses a needle.'

Providing Healthcare For All