Medical Malady Meme Lover Pillows

Doctor - "Oh this is interesting.. You are dead."

"If you don't want stitches, that's fine. Suture self."

"I've done this procedure so often I could do it in my sleep. But that's only happened twice – that I'll admit to."

'Before you see any patients have you completed your hand sterilisation and soap management course?'

"If you'd only come to me sooner I wouldn't have had to go to lunch."

'And when did you have your last owl movement?'

Providing Healthcare For All

'I'm afraid that serves you right for not wearing your safety goggles!'

"In case something happens during the surgery and you become incapacitated, have you designated someone to make poor life choices on your behalf?"

"All my symptoms are old ... "

Doctor performing an ultrasound on a Russian nesting doll

'Let me guess...it's contagious!'

"I think it stopped breathing."

'Who wants to be examined first?'

Dog forced to return bone

'My boyfriend's a Cardiologist.'

'Your 'bad' cholesterol levels are right off the chart.'

I just hope my doctor is not on twitter too!

"My first night in the lab and I was clearly the smallest brain in the place."

"It's interpret-your-own-test-results day today."

World Cup Fever

"The patient in 12-C needs comforting."

"It's probably a fracture - we'll do some imaging on it just to be sure."

"..Your analysis and medication would be perfect if you were a goat."

"You need the toilet. . . hang on I think I've got an app for that."

'That's not what I meant by 'IV'.'

"Bad news. Your use-by date was a month ago."

"Well, you may not have the body of an athlete, but you certainly have the foot of one."

"You're suffering from extreme laziness."

'My goodness, how many miricle drugs did they give you?'

"I try to 'go with the flow' doc, but my prostate is an unwilling participant!"

'I think you'll get a kick out of our 'haunted' MRI, Mrs. Hanratty.'

"Here comes the super-visor."

Deep in the Heart of Texas: The Cholesterol Kid.

Johns Hopkins School of Best Medicine