Medical Malady Meme Lover Pillows

Doctor - "Oh this is interesting.. You are dead."

"If you don't want stitches, that's fine. Suture self."

"I've done this procedure so often I could do it in my sleep. But that's only happened twice – that I'll admit to."

'And when did you have your last owl movement?'

'Before you see any patients have you completed your hand sterilisation and soap management course?'

"If you'd only come to me sooner I wouldn't have had to go to lunch."

Providing Healthcare For All

"In case something happens during the surgery and you become incapacitated, have you designated someone to make poor life choices on your behalf?"

"All my symptoms are old ... "

'I'm afraid that serves you right for not wearing your safety goggles!'

Doctor performing an ultrasound on a Russian nesting doll

"I think it stopped breathing."

'Who wants to be examined first?'

'Let me guess...it's contagious!'

Dog forced to return bone

'My boyfriend's a Cardiologist.'

'Your 'bad' cholesterol levels are right off the chart.'

"The patient in 12-C needs comforting."

"My first night in the lab and I was clearly the smallest brain in the place."

"It's interpret-your-own-test-results day today."

"It's probably a fracture - we'll do some imaging on it just to be sure."

"..Your analysis and medication would be perfect if you were a goat."

"You need the toilet. . . hang on I think I've got an app for that."

'That's not what I meant by 'IV'.'

"Well, you may not have the body of an athlete, but you certainly have the foot of one."

'My goodness, how many miricle drugs did they give you?'

"You're suffering from extreme laziness."

"Bad news. Your use-by date was a month ago."

"I try to 'go with the flow' doc, but my prostate is an unwilling participant!"

"Here comes the super-visor."

Deep in the Heart of Texas: The Cholesterol Kid.

'I've discovered you have feet of clay.'

"Look, look … someone wrote unoperable."