Analogy Creator Gifts

'Unlike Wall Street, with its strict rules regulating insider trading, 'Love Street' remains un-regulated, and I'm pleases to let you know now, before the official announcement, that the position of Rolf Fusco's girlfriend is open.'

'...and so you see our profits, not unlike Sir Isaac Newton, have felt the effects of gravity.'

"Oops! I just deleted all your files. Can you repeat everything you've ever told me?"

Operation Chrome Dome.

The sad case of the blind-men and the elephant.

Worker Bee of the Month

"About these experiements of yours into genetic cloning, Bond" boomed the Headmaster, "They must cease immediately"

'Oh, Ben is a good man...like stem cells are good, but I am looking for embryonic stem cells.'

Miss Underhill's School Of Writing Sample Lesson

'Professor Dinsmore talked about a major breakthrough in his cloning experiments!'

'To be totally honest, our ship of matrimony is taking on water.'

Has A Hole In It Venn Diagram

"This won't work, Josh. I'm bottled water. You're tap."

'And their financial E.K.G. shows that they are in excellent health.'

Armstrong? Why did UPS just deliver a microscope, a robotic arm, a huge incubator, a nucleus extractor and a dozen lab rats? Well it's certainly not so I can replace you with an army of clones programmed to work for free. Well

"You better get this through your thick shells. WE are the best idiom for insanity!"

'I was betting you wouldn't show.'

'I have no idea what makes that guy tick.'

I made fun of your age the other day. I'd like to apologize. That's odd. Does the blade of grass apologize to the lawnmower? Does the bug apologize to the windshield? Does the ant apologize to the boot? Those are some interesting analogies. Did they make more sense back in the middle ages when you first came up with them? I sense a boot coming

"Don't think of them as training wheels. Just think of it as me putting your bike on safe mode."

'Reminds me, my urologist said there's something wrong with my plumbing.'

Mock Tennial

Your eyes are like ... one limpid pool and one regular eye.

'Clocked you going broadband in a dial-up zone.'

'The way I see it, money is like a big manure pile, it's no good unless you spread it around.'

'I work like a horse and eat like a bird.'

'Marriage is like a roller coaster, with it's ups and downs!'

STRIP Hambone: Man's problems an analogy of computer problems

'Yes, the Road Runner always beats the Coyote, but I wouldn't read any political meaning into it.'

You look like the cat who ate the canary. Actually, I'm the wolverine who ate your leftover prosciutto hoagie.

"Department of Sports Analogies"

'My head feels like lead and my nose is all blocked up.'

"My asparagus on my allotment has exactly the same thing."

"After that, our marriage ripened into a divorce."

"You know...our parents are pretty smart."