Media Tactician Gifts

"But, what if we're attacked in the press?"

"It's Dr. Sadie. Go ahead, caller." "Yeah, how come you haven't said 'Merry Christmas' yet?" "Oh, that’s because I was hoping to provoke everyone who’s upset about the so-called 'war on Christmas' to spend all their time on hold waiting to castigate me. That way, all the normal people who don’t think Christmas is just another chance to play the victim can open their gifts in peace." "You're welcome, America." "Why haven't you played 'Jingle Bells' yet?"

Trial by Media

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

"Can I savor this for a few moments? The ball's never been in my court before!"

The Future: "Sorry, but I have to show you an ad now."

News: Deaths! Deaths! Deaths!

"Well, how do things look from where you sit?"

"And now here's Cathie with the hypothetical portion of the news."

Gay Times...

If nobody had invented graphics

'Fred, I want you to sanitize this, punch it up, dumb it down, leak it to the media and then be fully prepared to deny it!'

'We interrupt this programme for a sex flash.'

Library - Political Science section - 'What to do until the spin doctor comes'

Public Relations: Reputations cleaned and repaired

"I love it when you use your 'All Things Considered' voice."

"Now we move over to the sports desk."

The President Elect approved by 3 out of 4 talk show hosts!

Presidential Pooch Meets The Press

"Since you have already been convicted by the media, I imagine we can wrap this up pretty quickly."

'With these video-phones, there's just too much documentation on all my promises.'

Local News in Heaven

'...and this time Gerald, don't refer to the RBS as the Ripoff Bonus Scheme!'

The Freedom of the Press is Worth Fighting For!

GOP exaggerating scale of immigration, inflation and crime rates

"Wow. . . is that you, Mr Erdogan. . . Mr Kim Jong-un. . . Mr Putin. . . Mr Maduro. . . Mr. Bin-Salman. . . Mr al-Assad. . ."

Talk shows are great. Listen shows are even better.

"Allow me to respond to your question with a question of my own that I can answer."

Reporter #6: television.

Coming up: Bush and Kerry will debate on 'saturday night live'...and whoever gets the most laughs will be the winner.'

'That's correct Shaun. The government is comprised of 5 branches...the executive, legislative, judicial, lobbyist and media.'

"You realize, of course, that I'll have to make a big show of having security escort you out."

'Sir, your tweeting coach is here.'

'Mr. President, I have a question, where's the mens' room?'