Media Manipulator Gifts

Sally, Jim - you'll handle daily speech writing. Vince, as usual, will be in charge of attack ads.'

'It might help with our friends in the media if you hang that upside down.'

'A spin doctor just isn't enough any more, Senator - you need a choreographer.'

Ernie McKelvey, moments before his life is touched by scandal.

'Tell them there'll be no retaliation, then check with the chiefs of staff, the media and our major allies what leeway we have in the adapted dissuasion department.'

'He's been trying to control the television for years.'

"A huge breakthrough from our research and development team. . . they've figure out a way to fool all of the people all of the time!"

'How fast can you hype?'

"Mr Frimley will see you now."

'Me? Dislocated thumb from switching channels to catch all the Olympic events. . .'

'There are lies, damn lies, and statistics. We're looking for someone who can make all three of these work for us.'

'Let's pretend I'm a business owner and you're the janitorial service...'

"I've edited your Wikipedia entry again, Sadie. You're about to be inundated with phone calls from the press." "Whatever, geek-boy." "You're now the world's foremost authority on Turkey leprosy, the disease that's threatening to ruin the holidays." "No one'll believe that." "Oh yeah? I wrote a Wikipedia page for Turkey leprosy, too, along with examples of all the historical figures it's killed, such as the Archduke of Crushistan." "There is no 'Crushistan.'" "I've written a Wikipedia entry for C

King Solomon's Pollster.

'I caught him watching tv, surfing the net, and playing video games ..book him!'

Have our P.R. people do a report on the beneficial effects of cyanide on river life.

Books and Phones

Nun reading 'Halo' magazine

"Whoa, too much information!"

"Actually, minister, as long as you say 'strong and stable, you can fill the rest with any old b*llocks!"

Man holding up a cowboy with his TV remote control.

"Bretheren and Sistern out there in Congregational Land!"

'I hate technology!'

Throw-Your-Voice Mail.

Conservative media training.

This red button is for EMERGENCIES...if anything terrible happens to a patient then press it and you'll have a media management team here in minutes.''

'I'm in P.R. This is where I keep the spin.'

'Don't worry, Mom - I'll do my book report during the next commercial.'

"Here's your words for today ladies."

Library computer center: CYBRARIAN.

Go on line, listen to the radio, watch the TV.

Spin doctor arriving at an emergency.

'Don't worry, I'm not going to jump. I'm just screwing with the media.'

"You just finish the drop-off, I'll handle the press."

"We disagree on what's fake news."