Image Manipulator Gifts

Spin doctor arriving at an emergency.

I wonder if I can fix this in Photoshop.

"Mr Frimley will see you now."

'There are lies, damn lies, and statistics. We're looking for someone who can make all three of these work for us.'

'Let's pretend I'm a business owner and you're the janitorial service...'

"I've edited your Wikipedia entry again, Sadie. You're about to be inundated with phone calls from the press." "Whatever, geek-boy." "You're now the world's foremost authority on Turkey leprosy, the disease that's threatening to ruin the holidays." "No one'll believe that." "Oh yeah? I wrote a Wikipedia page for Turkey leprosy, too, along with examples of all the historical figures it's killed, such as the Archduke of Crushistan." "There is no 'Crushistan.'" "I've written a Wikipedia entry for C

'When you do the article, is there any way that you can squeeze the factory into the picture?'

'Tell them there'll be no retaliation, then check with the chiefs of staff, the media and our major allies what leeway we have in the adapted dissuasion department.'

'Hey! We've never tried a 'pity' strategy before...'

Have our P.R. people do a report on the beneficial effects of cyanide on river life.

"How long do you think we'll get away with it?"

"Yes, Your Honor. I am Mr. Brandon, Mr. Shindelbower's attorney, along with his agent and publicist."

"Is there a spin doctor in the house?"

Turning a business graph around to get a positive reading.

"Whoa, too much information!"

'You sure you've got Photoshop experiance.'

Copycat.

'Does Santa have skype?. . . I'd like to get in some face time, so he puts me at the top of his list come December. . .'

"A huge breakthrough from our research and development team. . . they've figure out a way to fool all of the people all of the time!"

Boss, the health inspector is here. Excellent. My hacker just finished restoring all the inspector's social media posts dating back to 1994. Tell him "It'd be a shame if someone's career were ruined by a 20-year-old video of him doing the Macarena in the buff." Don't wink too much. But not too little, either. Very bad man.

"Just take the picture. I'll Photoshop in something really big when we get home."

Can you make me slimmer, get out some grays, and reduce my wrinkles? Oh, so what you're asking is that I leave and come back ten years ago.

Throw-Your-Voice Mail.

"Your best bet is photoshop."

'A spin doctor just isn't enough any more, Senator - you need a choreographer.'

'What bothers me is that we all look so successful.'

Yes, sir, we allow substitutions. Great! Okay, instead of lima beans, I'd like to substitute a beer at your place.

'He's been trying to control the television for years.'

Sally, Jim - you'll handle daily speech writing. Vince, as usual, will be in charge of attack ads.'

'Instead of going somewhere, how about we just Photoshop our vacation this year?'

'It might help with our friends in the media if you hang that upside down.'

"You will now open your eyes and have no memory of me charging you twice for this session!"

'So now I just download through my wireless broadband onto my windows media player, convert the MP3 song in Itunes, connect via USB and record onto my compact cassette tape'

'High definition media image!'

'The numbers should look better this quarter since they've been photoshopped.'