Map Manipulator Gifts

"More gerrymandering. We're each in a different congressional district now."

Alex Salmond

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

Road sign: "Good Start, but you've still got a ways to go."

'AHH, here it is! At the next intersection, turn left, then cough, following that, turn right, then cough...' WHEN DOCTORS NAVIGATE.

"Our detractors call it suburban sprawl, but I prefer thinking of our plan as 'sustainable over-development!'"

'Oh man, we are so lost...!'

Excess Baggage: By the time the male of the species admits he is lost. It is generally too late.

Right, this is the map of all the UFO sightings. Hold the light steady love.

'There are lies, damn lies, and statistics. We're looking for someone who can make all three of these work for us.'

'It was only 500 yds across but as he visualised the GPS blind spot the risks seemed immense.'

"That's the last time I buy a dog from a cartoonist."

'Typical man - why can't he just ask for directions?'

Hunter with arrow pointing at him.

Can I have a look at the map?

'No, no, no. You guys are way off! This isn't even the cat. You guys are on the dog.'

Since we've remodeled, you are no longer here.

'Now listen: Based on the position of the kennel and the length of the leash, only the shaded part of the garden is dangerous...'

Smart Bomb.

'Are you going exploring or retrieving a duck?'

'So much for your internal compass.'

"And up ahead is a place called, 'portage'."

"I think I'm lost."

'Well, dammit, I say he should stop and ask someone!'

"How can you claim to offer directions if you don't know the best way to Epsilon Delta VII?"

"Sorry we’re late, but apparently the journey of 1,000 miles begins with 'I know a shortcut around this traffic'."

Turn around at the next junction, turn around now! Turn around immediately - you've forgotten your handbags!

'Exactly what the forecast on telly.'

"I don't care what the map says, this isn't Sheffield."

A tourist sees that every sign leads the right way.

Lab rat in maze, sees 'you are here' map.

Two cows in military dress looking at a map table with a cow-design.

"Sorry... My School Aversion Syndrome is totally bad today."

'I don't know why you find it so hard to stop and ask for directions.'

Petro Poroshenko