Media Magician Gifts

'A spin doctor just isn't enough any more, Senator - you need a choreographer.'

'How fast can you hype?'

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

Uncle demonstrating chemical experiments to children

Team Leader

"Microwave to replace gas or oil central heating?" "Yes. Think how cheap it is to microwave a cup of tea!"

"Now this chart should clear up any confusion you have with the report."

Arms reach through a mirror to straighten a man's bow tie.

'What luck! A sound technician.'

"You haven't been laid off because you're the designated scapegoat."

'This wasn't what I meant by viral marketing...but if you can get it to work.'

'It's labour-saving because with this you'll be able to burn my meals much faster!'

Using psychic powers, the final exam had been a breeze. However, Madame Evetta did not realize that the student in front of her from who she had obtained the majority of her answers, was Bugs Higgins.

Stupid Microwave

Gracious, child...bubbling cauldrons of potions are old hat. I get mine over the internet, delivered frozen and ready for the microwave!

'I think I'm decisive. Can I get back to you on that?'

Stealing thoughts.

'I've forgotten the author and title - do you read minds?'

'In keeping with the team approach, we've traded you for two middle managers to be named later.'

'When you do the article, is there any way that you can squeeze the factory into the picture?'

“What if I tell you the card you are thinking of is … the Jack of Hearts ?”

"Remember, Katie, genius is 10% inspiration and 80% media manipulation."

"I've got a great idea! By adding the words "and associates" to my business name, no one will every suspect I'm really just one person with a phone and a web site working out of my bedroom!"

The marketing is out there now. People all know the pizzas are prepared on the premises. So why no customers?

"We can succeed if our target audience is not made up of rational human beings."

Graduation day at Telekinesis School.

All Les's dreams of stardom were coming true, and he'd only played one note.

The quarantine self cut.

"Prospectus in not spelt P...R...O...A...G...A...N...D...A."

"This one comes with a special undo function for erasing any stupid thing you've done or said in your entire life. It doesn't really work, of course, but it's SUPER fun to play with!"

'The good news is consumer confidence is up. And the REALLY good news is consumer gullibility is Way up.'

Mummy Musician

'It's the philosophy of the company that truth in advertising begins at home.'